


A Bite of Apple Pie

by AC_DeanC



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, BAMF Reader, Cas is a big sap, Dean Being Dean, F/M, Female Reader, Follows the plotline loosely, Hurt/Comfort, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Playing house in the suburbs, Protective Castiel, Protective Dean Winchester, Protective Sam Winchester, Reader and Cas faking a marriage, Reader hates talking about feelings, Reader really hates vamps, Sam serving those puppy dog eyes, Winchesters doing what they do best, but that is only going on in the background, like really hates them, working cases
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-11
Updated: 2018-12-06
Packaged: 2019-05-05 04:04:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 20
Words: 37,333
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14608902
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AC_DeanC/pseuds/AC_DeanC
Summary: “What do I need to do?” You asked, and Dean grinned triumphantly, making his way over to his bag. He dug around for a bit, before producing two silver rings.“Well first off, you’re going to need these.”***Y/N remembered when Dean told her hunters could never have that Apple-Pie Life....So why was she being married off to the angel in a trench coat?





	1. Nomad

  The _friggin_ ’ Winchesters. Running into them always seemed like a bad omen of things worse to come. You went way back, helping John and Dean out on hunts when Sam had been away at Stanford. You’d even helped out John when he was on solo hunts, and he used to joke about you being the “daughter he never had.” Despite his clear lack of parenting skills, John was a damn good hunter, and you learned a lot from him in your early years.

  You were currently working a case in Upstate New York, trying to track down a vamp’s nest. They’d already taken three girls in the past month and-judging by how long it took for the bodies to show up-you’d estimated that there were at least three vamps you had to deal with. You had been doing fine on your own, and then you’d run into the Winchesters. As much as you’d told them you had this one handled, Dean had too much pride to back down.

  So there you were, sat at the counter in some seedy bar, stuck being vampire bait. The skimpy black dress you were clad in didn’t leave much room for concealment, so your only weapons were your ruby lips and a vial of dead man’s blood stashed in your clutch. You downed your drink, signaling the bartender to get you another.

 

 

[](https://imgur.com/NFmT2RI)

  “Damn him,” you muttered under your breath, taking a sip of the drink the bartender slid over to you. This had been Dean’s idea-big surprise there. You’d wanted to storm the vamp’s nest, guns blazing, but Dean reminded you that you didn’t know how many vamps there were, and didn’t want to take risks. You’d pointed out that you, him and John had done so many times, to which he simply had waved you off. You rolled your eyes at the thought.

  “Boy troubles?” You heard a sultry voice say from your right. Bingo. You turned towards the vampire, openly checking him out, a smile turning up the corners of your lips.

  “I doubt you want to listen to my troubles,” you giggled, placing an arm on his bicep, despite the fact everything within your body wanting to shrivel up at the contact. Your heart was erratic and nervous, and you hoped you could pass it off as nerves.

  “Penny for your thoughts,” the vamp said, cocking an eyebrow. You downed the rest of your drink, leaning forward and ignoring the way your skin crawled as he looked at you.

  “My bastard of a boyfriend-well, ex-cheated on me and had the nerve to kick me out! Can you believe that?” You exclaimed, legs tangled with the vamp’s. Your heart was hammering in your chest, and you felt like you were going to be sick. The vamp placed a hand on the small of your back, and it took everything within you not to tense up.

  “What do you say we get out of here? I can make you forget all about that guy,” He said, flashing you a smile that was all teeth. You grinned over at him, swaying slightly. Everything in your body was screaming at you to run. But you pushed it down, along with the bile that had risen in your throat.

  “I’d like that.” He led you out of the bar into the back alleyway, and your heartbeat was skyrocketing with each step you took. He turned to face you, and suddenly his lips were on yours. There was a mess of teeth and tongue as he backed you against the wall, and you fought hard not to panic. His hands were on your waist, and the heat from his palms was making you nauseous. You fumbled with your clutch, producing the syringe and jabbing it into the vamp’s neck. He sputtered as he stumbled back, dark red veins protruding up from his neck.

  “You bit-!” Was all he managed to get out before his head was lobbed off with a machete, and the hot spray of his blood splashed onto your face and neck. It was enough to make you turn and spew out the contents of your stomach that you had been trying to hold in. The world was spinning, and you heaved until there was nothing left to throw up. You felt light-headed, and completely drained. There was a soft fluttering sound, and black dress shoes entered your vision.

  “Oh, hey Castiel,” you grumbled out as your eyes trailed upwards to meet the ocean that his blue orbs held. His head was canted to the side slightly, with that same furrowed brow he’d donned when you’d first met.

  “Hello, Y/N.” You had met the angel a while back-when everything was going to hell in a handbasket and the Four Horsemen were roaming the Earth-and while at first you didn’t know what to make of him, you knew Sam and Dean considered him to be family. But his odd quirks had grown on you, and you had come to enjoy the seraph’s company.

  “Y/N! Are you alright?” Dean asked, wiping the vamp’s blood off his machete as he approached you. You stood up straight, adjusting your dress before you shot him a look.

  “Would it have killed you to gank him before he shoved his tongue down my throat?” You asked, skin still crawling from having that leech’s hands on you. Dean grinned sheepishly, and Sam shot you an apologetic look.

  “Sorry Y/N, we tried to get here as soon as we could. But he brought back-up.” Sam’s words had you tensing up, hands clenched up into tight fists. You closed your eyes, the warmth seeming to sap out of your body as you tried not to remember why you hated vampires. Nothing helped. You could still feel the blood dripping hot down your skin, coppery breath that made your gut wrench. You were going to be sick again.

  You were startled by the sudden feeling of warmth that enveloped you, and you opened your eyes to discover Castiel had draped his trench coat over your shoulders. You looked over at the seraph in surprise, and you could see the sincerity in his eyes. At times, you swore he could see into the depths of your soul, and you were unsure how he’d react if he saw what was really there.

  “Thank you,” you said quietly, feeling better that you weren’t so exposed. Rain had begun misting down on the four of you, and the neon lights from the bar sign bounced off the asphalt in a prism of colors.

  “Any idea where they were keeping the victims?” You asked, breaking the silence that had fallen over your group.

  “There’s an abandoned warehouse not too far from here, it’s our best shot.” Sam offered, and the four of you headed back to the Impala to go find the missing women.

  To your surprise, Castiel didn’t disappear in a flutter of wings. Rather, he joined you in the backseat, eyeing you with a mixture of curiosity and concern. You sent him a reassuring smile, figuring he was wondering about you losing your dinner earlier. You leaned your head against the cool glass of the window, and the rumble of the Impala lulled you into a sense of security. You were safe. For now, at least.

  When the next day rolled around, you had the victims checked into the hospital, their loved ones relieved for their safety and on the way to greet them. You sat at a booth in a diner in the middle of town, Sam on your left and Dean seated across from you. You stabbed at your chocolate chip pancakes with disinterest, knowing if you ate anything right now you wouldn’t be able to keep it down. Dealing with vampires always made you lose your appetite.

  “So what are your plans after this?” Sam asked, eyeing the way you picked at your food but not saying anything-which you appreciated. You let out a soft chuckle, before shrugging your shoulders.

  “Onto the next case I guess. See if there’s any more vamp nests to be taken out,” You supplied, pouring syrup onto your pancakes you knew you weren’t going to eat. Dean swiped a piece of bacon from your plate, and you shot him a look, though you knew you weren’t going to eat it anyways.

  “What’s with you and vamps anyways? Every time we run into you it's vampires,” Dean asked, chewing noisily on his stolen piece of bacon. You wrinkled up your nose, trying to ignore the elder Winchester’s table manners. You shrugged it off, despite the question having jumpstarted your heart. The brothers knew you had a past with vampires-it was the reason you became a hunter. But they didn’t know the details. And though you considered them the closest thing to family, you intended to keep them in the dark about it for as long as possible.

  “Do I need a reason?” You asked, and it came out more defensive than you had intended it to be. Sam and Dean shared a look, and you groaned internally, knowing that they would log this moment for later reference when they wanted to bring it up.

  “You can always come stay at the bunker with us, you know. We’d love to have you, Y/N,” Sam said, and you cursed internally when he set those damn puppy-dog eyes on you. Had you ever been able to say no to those eyes? But you stayed strong. As much as the idea of having a place to return to, a place to call home, appealed to you-the thought of being tied down made you feel queasy. You much rather preferred the nomadic life of a hunter.

  “I’ll stop by every once in a while if I’m in the area. I’m not really one for staying in the same place,” you said, and the brothers nodded in understanding. After breakfast and a few heartfelt goodbyes, you were on your separate ways. The Winchesters had a Rugaru down in Texas, and you went searching for your next case. You knew you’d run into them again. You were silently hoping it wouldn’t be sooner rather than later. As much as you loved them, the Winchesters left biblical storms in their wake, and you wanted no part of it.


	2. Check-In

  You cursed as you slammed the door to your motel shut, cradling your injured hand with the other. You’d located the vamp’s nest and stormed in, guns blazing. And for the most part, you’d been pretty successful in eliminating all of the vamps. You had a system. Go in with a gun loaded with bullets dipped in dead man’s blood. Once all the vamps had been incapacitated, you’d secure the hostages. Once they were safe, it was time to slice and dice. But one had managed to evade your initial sweep, and you’d struggled.

  You cringed as you replayed the sound of your bones grinding as the vamp had crushed your hand under her heavy boot. You’d particularly enjoyed lobbing off her head. You stumbled around, room spinning, throwing your duffel and coat haphazardly around the room as you felt your gut twist and churn. You managed to lurch into the bathroom just in time to spill the contents of your stomach in the toilet. You kneeled, head in your good hand, chiding yourself.

  It had been-what? -almost a decade since that nightmare, and you still couldn’t interact with vampires without becoming sick. You groaned, the fluorescent lights of the shotty bathroom only irritating your eyes, head pounding as you tried to will the nausea away.

  “Pathetic,” you muttered to yourself, groaning as you were hit with another wave. Once there was nothing left in your stomach to heave up, you sat back and placed your head between your knees, praying by some miracle you wouldn’t have to deal with this the next time you had to track down a vamp’s nest. You thought back to Sam and Dean.

  You knew they had questions as to why you were so adamant on hunting vamps. Vampires were few and far between, so cases were rarely ever connected to them. But you weren’t going to stop until you’d wiped every damned leech off this godforsaken planet. Were you making things personal? Yes. But what hunter hadn’t? Almost all hunters got into the business the same way; tragic run-in with a monster that opened them up to a whole new world, and the desire to do something about it.

  The soft sound of wings flapping reached your ears, and you caught sight of a familiar pair of black dress shoes at the corner of your vision. You trailed your eyes up, meeting those blue ocean orbs in confusion. They looked down at you with concern.

  “Castiel?” You asked, voice coming out hoarse.

  “Hello Y/N.” He helped you to your feet, and you brushed past him to sit down at the edge of the bed.

  “What are you doing here? Not that I mind, it’s just unusual for you to visit when there’s not a Winchester around,” you said, still clutching at your busted-up hand. You were trying to wrap your head around why the angel was here. Last you'd heard from Sam and Dean they were trying to close the gates of Hell. Castiel canted his head to the side, eyes sweeping over you, searching for something.

  “Sam and Dean wanted me to check up on you. They have not heard from you in a while, and they were concerned,” Castiel explained, eyeing the hand you were cradling. You smiled. Typical. The Winchesters can start the apocalypse and not check up on you, but a few missed phone calls and it’s all hands-on deck.

  “Well they’ll be happy to hear that I’m doing just fine,” you said, knowing how much Sam and Dean liked to overreact when it came to your well-being. So there was that one time you hadn’t answered their calls and they found you half-dead in a motel bathroom after your run-in with some demons, did they really need to be that concerned? Getting hurt on the job came with being a hunter. The painful throb in your hand could attest to that.

  “You are injured,” Castiel said matter-of-factly, and came to stand in front of you. He went to reach for your hand, but you pulled away.

  “I’m fine. I just need to bandage it up and it’ll be good as new,” you said quickly. You didn’t like asking others for help, and that extended to Castiel and his angelic abilities. But he reached out and placed two fingers to your forehead before you could react, and the throbbing in your hand was gone. You flexed your now-healed hand, grumbling to yourself.

  “Thank you.” For a moment, you swore the corner of his lips twitched up into a smile.

  “It is no problem, Y/N. I should hope to see you soon,” he said, and was gone with the beating of his wings. His words had left you feeling enveloped in warmth, much like when he’d offered you his trench coat. Oddly enough, despite having only been here for a short amount of time, you found yourself already missing the seraph’s calming presence.


	3. Visit

  You were startled out of your sleep by a knock at the motel door. You grasped the gun beneath your pillow, blearily opening your eyes and looking around. You caught sight of the blinking red lights in the darkness, and you became alert as the fog of sleep lifted from your mind. Who would visit at three in the morning?

  You’d only just checked in five hours ago, and you hadn’t told anyone where you were-aside from the Winchesters.  Dean had called you to give you an update on Sam’s condition. You were happy to hear he was out of the hospital and recovering back at the bunker. And that meant that there shouldn’t have been anyone at your door. You slowly rose from your bed and padded over to the door, the carpet of the motel floor irritating your feet. One day you’d spend your money on a hotel and never have to look at another water-stained ceiling.

  You peered through the peephole, but it was dark, and the downpour made it almost impossible to see anything. You tried to scan the parking lot, though through this low visibility, you could barely see the makings of a 1978 Lincoln Continental parked in the space next to yours. Paranoia crawling down your back, you cocked your gun, bracing yourself as you swung the door open.

  “…Castiel?” You called out, mind instantly switching off alert and going into a state of confusion. What was he doing here? You took in the state of the angel. His hair looked disheveled and damp from the rain, like he’d run his hands through it multiple times. Gone was the usual trench coat and suit, and a button up and jeans in its place. His shirt had large splatters of rain at the shoulders, and you gaged he had probably waited a while before knocking. Overall, the angel-no-longer-in-a-trench-coat looked…sad. All of these things left you with more questions than answers.

  “Hello Y/N,” he said, and he tilted his head at you in confusion, as if he himself didn’t know why he was stood before you at three in the morning. You stepped aside and opened the door wider, motioning him inside as you placed your gun on the table behind you. Thunder boomed from somewhere off in the distance.

  “What are you doing here? How did you know I was here?” You asked as you closed the door behind him. He’d given you the same carving on your ribs that Sam and Dean had after you’d had an unfortunate encounter with a few angels when they figured out you were a friend of the Winchesters. So Castiel had no way of finding you. He stood somewhat awkwardly in the middle of the room, as if unsure of himself. The heavy silence between you was drowned out by the rain pelting down onto the roof. The angel cleared his throat.

  “I uh-Dean told me where you’d be.” He explained, shifting his weight between each foot. You raised an eyebrow. Why had Dean given Castiel your whereabouts? Wasn’t the angel supposed to be helping Dean look after Sam while he recovered?

  “You drove all the way here?” You said, suddenly remembering Castiel was graceless, and completely human. He simply nodded, darting his eyes around the room, avoiding your curious gaze.

  “If I am to be completely honest with you, Y/N, I don’t know why I’m here.” It was then you noticed the bag he held in his hand.

  “Cas, what happened?” You asked, shooting a worried glance at the angel. You were trying to put all the pieces of the puzzle together but nothing was adding up. Didn’t Dean need Castiel to help him with Sam? Why had he driven all the way up here? Castiel finally met your gaze, and you couldn’t pick apart all of the emotions that those blue orbs held.

  “Dean kicked me out of the bunker.” You blinked, everything finally clicking into place. Castiel didn’t have anywhere to go. A wave of emotions rolled over you, and you sucked in a breath. How could Dean kick him out? After everything they’d been through together, after all Cas had done for him, this is how he repaid him? By kicking him out when he needed Dean the most? The thought had your blood boiling, and you were itching to punch Dean in the face.

  “I’m so sorry Cas,” you said softly, then looked around the motel room. It was a single, so there was only one bed, but there was a couch. You motioned around the room.

  “It’s not much, but you can stay here if you’d like-just until I finish this case?” You offered, heart wrenching at the thought of Castiel being human for the first time and all alone in the world. He eyed you hesitantly, head tilting ever so slightly.

  “I’m sorry, I don’t mean to intrude-and I didn’t come here looking for a place to stay-I just-”

  “Castiel,” you said, smiling, “I know. Just stay here with me for the time being. There’s only one bed, but we’ll make do.” The angel returned your smile, and it made your stomach do a weird flop for the briefest of moments.

  “Thank you,” he said, a genuine smile on his face that you were not accustomed to on the angel. It was a good look.

 

  You and Castiel had ended up sharing the bed, neither one of you willing to let the other take the couch. And for the next few weeks or so, you worked on hunting down the vampire nest in town. Castiel had offered to help, and you had appreciated the offer, but you much rather preferred to work alone. Upon realizing Castiel was probably looking for a distraction, you let him help-though only with research.

   It wasn’t as awkward as you thought it would be-hanging around Castiel-it was actually nice. You’d never admit it, but you enjoyed having the angel around. You secretly had missed having day-to-day interactions with someone who wasn’t trying to play twenty-questions about your hunter lifestyle. You’d gotten so used to being alone that you forgot you actually enjoyed having others around.

  “What’s the one thing you like about being human?” You had asked Castiel while up researching one night.

  “Food. While I don’t care much for the need to eat and sleep, everything tastes better when you’re human.” You’d laughed at his response, recalling how he’d told you everything had tasted like molecules to an angel. Castiel remained with you until you had wiped out the nest. You asked him what he planned on doing next, and he said he would figure it out. So you said your goodbyes and parted ways, feeling somewhat sad that you wouldn’t have someone to keep you company on your next case.

  It was quite a while before you had heard anything from Team Free Will, and as disconcerting as it was, you knew they had their own things to deal with. And you always tried to steer clear of their biblical storms. When Sam had finally called to check in, you found out he’d been possessed by an angel, Castiel had gotten his grace back, and Dean had been a demon. It was a whirlwind of events to wrap your head around, but you’d expected nothing less from the Winchesters. You were glad that Castiel was back with the Winchesters, and that everything seemed to be going okay.

  Though nothing ever stayed that way with the Winchesters for long.


	4. Favor

  “I know it’s not vampires, but we could really use your help.” Dean had left those words through your voicemail, along with coordinates. Had it been any other hunters, you’d have shied away. But this was Dean and Sam, and they were the closest thing you had to family. Well, if you excluded the brother you hadn’t spoken to in ten years.

  So you’d gathered your things, made sure to grab supplies for the long trek, and drove out to meet the Winchester brothers.

  “You want to run that by me again?” You asked incredulously. You were sat on the couch of the brothers’ motel room, having just been told Dean’s brilliant plan to hunt down the monster for this case. Dean crossed his arms over his chest, and you mirrored his movements in indignation.

  “C’mon Y/N, we need to have someone on the inside. See what’s going on. We still have no idea what kind of monster we’re hunting,” Dean explained, and you narrowed your eyes at him. Sam and Dean couldn’t figure out who’d been butchering people in this town and had asked for your help. Or so they’d said. They had failed to mention why they needed your particular help before you arrived.

  “Then why can’t you two do it?” You asked, to which Sam and Dean both made a face. You rolled your eyes.

  “Because Y/N, we’ve already gone and questioned people as FBI. They know our faces. They don’t know yours,” Sam said, offering a more reasonable explanation. You huffed, still trying to comprehend what they were asking you.

  “So, let me get this straight. You want me to play ‘house’ with Castiel?” You asked, motioning to the seraph sat beside you, who’d mostly been silent during this whole ordeal. The Winchesters had obviously already convinced him if he was still here. Dean grinned, motioning over to their feathered friend.

  “Do you even know what we’re hunting?” You asked skeptically. Dean sighed, using hand gestures to get his point across.

  “Look, we got called in on a favor. People are missing and something about it doesn’t smell right. That’s why we’re here,” he explained, and you groaned, putting your head in your hands. You loved Dean to death, but sometimes you just wanted to wrap your hands around his neck and strangle him. You caught the look Dean shot at Sam as you lifted your head, and you immediately knew there was something they weren't telling you. But since you owed Sam and Dean for saving your life that one time-and another time after that-you decided to give them the benefit of the doubt and pretend you hadn't seen the shared look.

  “It shouldn’t take too long. We just need eyes and ears on the inside. Me and Sam can’t just go snooping around a gated community without raising any suspicion. But you and Cas can pose as newly-weds, and no one would bat an eye. C’mon Y/N, just say ‘I do’ already so we can get this show on the road.” You shot an icy glare at Dean, but his grin didn’t falter. You looked over at Castiel, who you discovered was already staring at you with those piercing eyes, clearly gaging your reaction.

  “You’re okay with this?” You asked quietly, not sure if you really wanted to know his answer. The thought had your stomach twisting, and you tore your eyes from his to glare at Dean. Castiel placed a comforting hand on your back, drawing your attention back to him. His brows were furrowed in that serious manner you’d grown accustomed to the angel having.

  “If you’re not okay with this, we don’t have to,” Castiel said, and Dean started to protest. But one look from the seraph and he promptly shut his mouth. You smiled softly at Castiel, appreciating the fact he wasn’t trying to convince you to do anything. It was your decision to make. You sighed.

  “What do I need to do?” You asked, and Dean grinned triumphantly, making his way over to his bag. He dug around for a bit, before producing two silver rings.

  “Well first off, you’re going to need these.”


	5. Apple Pie

  The gated community was quite the sight. Cookie cutter houses, bright green, perfectly-trimmed lawns, children running around laughing, playing in sprinklers. Moms out for their daily runs. It almost didn’t seem real. It was too perfect. Though you supposed every paradise had its secrets, and that’s why you were here. The ring on your finger felt heavy, like it was weighing you down, a homing beacon to your wildest dream that you knew this life would never allow.

  Using fake documentation and borrowed cash, the Winchesters had purchased you and Castiel a fully furbished house in the center of the community. Since you were playing the part-and Castiel had unfortunately lost his convenient mode of transportation due to the fall-you had to take his car. You had wanted to bring your own vehicle, but Dean wanted you to really play up the role of being a stay-at-home wife.

  Personally, you wanted to knock his lights out when he’d first suggested it, but Sam had held you back-after apologizing profusely and you threatening to shoot him-and being the voice of reason, made you see that you had to be like the other wives that lived here and blend. You still punched Dean in the face, and next time you saw the duo you would have taken satisfaction in the shiner he was sporting. Of course, you would have, if Castiel hadn’t healed him. Though you suppose it was for the best. Everyone would be suspicious of a beat-up FBI agent asking questions.

  “Nice digs,” you muttered to yourself as Castiel pulled into the driveway of the house. You couldn’t help but gape at it. This was a house never in your wildest dreams did you imagine yourself being able to live in. So it was a bitter-sweet pill that you had to swallow if you were going to play the part for this case.

 

[ ](https://imgur.com/B4djQzm)

 

  You exhaled, looking down at the outfit you were currently wearing. A purple off the shoulder summer dress, cream-colored heels, sunglasses, and a sun hat to top it all off. Not your style, but you had to trade the flannel and combat boots if you planned on looking the part. So a few shopping trips and unappreciated jokes from one Dean Winchester later, and you had a new wardrobe. You didn’t know how long you were going to have to stay here, but you hoped it wasn’t long. Maybe you’d get lucky, and it would just be a regular salt and burn. But when was working a case with the Winchesters ever easy?

 

[ ](https://imgur.com/ZTthqog)

 

  “Are you ready?” The angel beside you asked, startling you out of your thoughts. The two of you had rarely even had a chance to have a normal conversation-whatever that would be-considering the halo and wings. Though you supposed having to act like man and wife would be a good place to start as any. You thought about the question. Were you ready? You weren’t so sure about that. But you’d done undercover work before on cases, and you supposed this wouldn’t be any different.

  “As ready as I’ll ever be,” you said, and took a deep breath before opening the door and stepping out of the car. Castiel grabbed both of your bags while you admired the house, wondering what exactly you were getting yourself into.

  Feeling like someone was watching you, you turned, seeing Castiel staring at you with a curious expression, head canted slightly to the side. You suddenly felt self-conscious, looking down at the outfit you weren’t used to sporting. Was it too much?

  “What?” You asked shyly, crossing your arms over your chest. You were surprised by the small smile that tugged at the corner of his lips, and he shook his head.

  “It’s nothing. Just thinking.”  You felt heat creeping up to your cheeks, and you were glad for the sunglasses covering your eyes. You cleared your throat, and looped your arm through his, putting your walls back up and smiling.

  “Well, let’s go see where we are gonna spend the rest of our days.” You teased, leading him up the driveway and to the front door. The door swung open with a resounding thud, and you cautiously stepped inside. You didn’t know what you were expecting, some vengeful spirit to pop out at you? You shook the thought aside as you walked further into the house, looking all around.

  “Wow,” you said, letting out a low whistle as you took in just how nice this house really was. You knew this was just for a case, but you wouldn’t mind actually living in this place if you’d been given the opportunity. The kitchen even had an island, and you ran your hand along the countertop, memories of when you were younger floating through your mind.

  “I put the bags in the bedroom,” Castiel said, his voice bringing you out of your reverie. You smiled over at him, nodding as you turned and continued to look at the kitchen, running your hand along every surface, feeling as if you were in some weird dream you were bound to wake up from.

  “Once I’m done looking around the house we should-” You were interrupted by the door bell ringing. You and Castiel looked at each other in confusion, wondering who it could have been. Sam and Dean hadn’t left word that they’d be stopping by, they had wanted you to get settled and work on your cover before they’d come to see you. Maybe they’d found something?

  You opened the door, Castiel hovering over your shoulder, surprised to see a young woman on the porch. Blonde hair pulled back in a ponytail, and a floral sundress with bright yellow pumps that you weren’t sure you could pull off even in your wildest dreams. Her warm brown eyes lit up as she took in the two of you, and she smiled brightly.

  “Hi, I’m Cherry, I live across the street and just wanted to welcome you to the community. You’re absolutely going to love The Pines!” She said, and you smiled back.

  “Nice to meet you. I’m Y/N, and this is my husband Castiel,” you said, motioning to the angel behind you and praying he wasn’t doing his usual confused head tilt and furrowed brow. Referring to Castiel as your anything felt weird, and your tongue felt heavy at having to use the term. Cherry was practically beaming with joy. She clasped her hands together in excitement, a tinkling laugh that rang in your ears.

  “Wonderful! Me and my husband Todd are having a barbeque later, and we were wondering if you wanted to join us. Most people from the community will be there, and it will be a great way for you to get to know everyone!” Well, so much for really trying to sell it to blend in. Cherry was practically doing it for you. You looked back at Castiel, a bright smile on your face that caused confusion to flit through his eyes for a moment before you looked back at Cherry.

  “That sounds great! We’ll be there,” You said, and her smile widened.

  “Perfect! I’ll see you there! And don’t worry about bringing anything, you get a free pass when you first move in,” She teased, and you laughed along with her.

  “I’ll see you at four!” She said, waving as she headed down the driveway and across the street, heels clicking on the pavement. You waited until she was out of sight before closing the door and turning to Castiel, who hadn’t moved from his earlier position. You nearly collided into his chest. You looked up at him.

  “Alright, that was the easy part. Now we need to get our story straight and act like we’re the love of each other’s lives.”


	6. "House"

  “It’s so great to have you here! Where are you from?” Gina-another housewife that you had the pleasure of meeting-asked. Immediately upon arriving, you and Castiel had been split up. You’d thanked whatever higher power was out there that you’d prepped beforehand and gone over with the angel multiple times the answers to questions people were bound to ask.

  “We’re from South Dakota. We wanted a fresh start and figured what better way to do it than moving out here?” You supplied, and the rest of the housewives that had gathered around you all laughed, smiling brightly. Cherry wrapped her arm around your shoulder.

  “I promise you’ll love it here! It’s a great place for the kids-” She nudged you with a wink, “and me and a few other moms go for a run each morning before sending the kids off to school.” You absolutely hated the thought of running, and though your years of being a hunter made you fit, you’d only do cardio if you were trying to outrun a werewolf.

  “Maybe I’ll join you,” you said smiling, eyes scanning Cherry’s backyard. You and some of the housewives were sitting at a table on the patio, and as you looked around you spotted Castiel surrounded by their husbands who stood by the grill next to the pool where most of the children were playing. His head was doing that head tilt, eyebrows furrowed. You grinned, only imagining what they could have been asking him about. His eyes met yours, and his expression softened as he sent you a small smile. It had caught you off guard and wreaked havoc on your heart, you barely had time to send a reassuring smile back before he turned back to the man he was talking to-Cherry’s husband, if you remembered correctly.

  “So how’d you ever catch a man like that, Y/N?” Gina asked, having seen the small exchange between you and the angel. You grinned, looking back over at Castiel.

  “I ask myself that every day. I don’t know how I got so lucky.” You responded, to which the housewives swooned. You’d come up with the cover story that the two of you were high school sweethearts. And though you had a painful split due to parting ways for college, a few years later Castiel had shown up at your dorm late one night with roses and a boombox he’d found at a thrift store, and you’d been inseparable ever since.

  Castiel had been unsure if they would believe such a story, but the wives had eaten it up, none the wiser. To be honest, you found the story hilarious, and trying to imagine the seraph-a former soldier of Heaven-outside your window with a boombox sent you into a fit of laughter. You couldn’t wait to tell the Winchesters the cover you’d come up with.

  After socializing with a few of the women and getting them to open up to you more-and with a little extra help from a few glasses of Pinot Noir-you decided to see what information you could get from them. Dean had given you very little to go on for this case, and you had a sneaking suspicion that it was due to the fact the brothers weren’t telling you something about this. All you knew was that there had been a few missing persons, and bodies too mutilated to be identified. The most recent missing person was a woman named Phoebe Hart. You still failed to see how a simple missing persons case was in your area, the bodies and the missing persons didn't seem connected. The bodies were discovered sporadically in towns that were far from here, and as far as anyone could tell there were two completely different cases. But you trusted the brothers enough to know something supernatural was at work here. 

  “Is this place safe? Castiel and I used to live in a bad neighborhood, and while we were assured this place was safe, no one’s going to tell us the gritty details when they are trying to sell a house.” At the question, a heavy silence fell over the group. Gina shared a look with one of the other women, and you tilted your head to the side.

  “What? Is it that bad?” You asked, half-joking, but your curiosity piqued. Cherry gave a forced laugh.

  “Oh no, nothing of the sort! This place is extremely safe, you don’t need to worry about burglars or anything like that!” She gushed nervously.

  “Burglars are the least of your worries ‘round here,” one of the woman said.

  “Margaret!” Cherry exclaimed, nervously laughing as she turned towards you.

  “Don’t mind her, she kids too much,” she said, shooting a look towards the woman-Margaret.

  “I don’t think Phoebe going missing is a joke,” Margaret said, and Cherry paled. The silence was thick, almost palpable as each woman shared looks with one another, leaving you confused. Did they know something they had left out of the police reports? Cherry sighed, before turning to you.

  “Rob’s wife went missing a few weeks ago. She didn’t leave a note or anything, just up and vanished. Rob thinks someone took her,” she said, and the way she said it piqued your interest.

  “And what does everyone else think?” You asked.

  “Well _some_ people-” Margaret said, shooting a glare Cherry’s way, “think she had an affair, ran away with some guy. But I know Phoebe, she wouldn’t do that. She loved Rob and the kids. She wouldn’t just leave them without a word.”

  “Margaret, I know you think the best of people, but Angela said she saw Phoebe with a man multiple times before her ‘disappearance’,” Gina said, and you made a mental note to ask her about it more when you got the chance to talk to her alone. The conversation pretty much died after the sore subject, and you and the rest of the women joined everyone else to eat and share embarrassing stories.

  “Sorry about earlier, hope we didn’t scare you off,” Cherry said as the party wound down, and people started to leave. You smiled.

  “Oh, don’t worry! Me and Cas really like it here, it’s gonna take more than a missing person to send us packing,” you joked, and Cherry laughed with you.

  “It is a shame though. I don’t know what would possess someone to leave everything behind like that,” Cherry said sadly, and you nodded. You got the feeling Phoebe didn’t just up and leave her family, but there was no point in telling Cherry that without raising suspicion.

  “Maybe she’ll realize it was a mistake and come back,” you supplied, trying to comfort the woman as best as you could. You weren’t so sure Phoebe was coming back, if not in pieces, but you wanted to offer her some hope. But with the way the other victims had been showing up, there was no telling if she was alive or not. Cherry smiled at you.

  “You’re right. She’ll remember how great a guy Rob is and come running back,” she said, laughing softly, and she nudged you, shooting you a wink.

  “Thanks for coming, and try not to stay up too late-we’re running in the morning.” She bumped your hip as she walked away, leaving you confused. You didn’t remember agreeing to joining her for her daily run. _Try not to stay up too late? What’s with that?_

  “Y/N.” The voice was accompanied by a hand on the small of your back, and you turned to look back at Castiel.

  “Hey.” You said, offering a small smile. The corner of the angel’s lip twitched up for the briefest of moments, and you caught Cherry nudging a few of the other women you had spoken to out of the corner of your eye. Her words finally clicked as the women eyed you and Castiel with a knowing look. The tips of your ears turned a dark shade of red, and you had to stamp down the emotions that were threatening to bubble to the surface.

  “What is it?” Castiel asked, and your heart missed a beat at the sound of his voice. You had nearly forgotten he was this close. You shot a look over your shoulder as the seraph led you out of Cherry’s backyard and across the street to your temporary home.

  “Find anything interesting?” You asked, trying to hide your embarrassment, as well as ignore the crooning of the women behind you.

  “I learned the many different ways to cook a burger, and which method worked best,” Castiel explained, brows knitted together in contemplation. You let out a laugh, shaking your head at the angel.

  “I’m sure that will come in handy. According to some of the women I talked to, they think the missing person ran away with her lover. But others aren’t so sure.” Castiel looked deep in thought as the two of you entered the house, and you turned to face him.

  “What aren’t you guys telling me?” You asked, curiosity getting the better of you. While this may have been a normal case for a hunter to take-not to mention the body count-everyone around here was treating the latest victim like an isolated incident. Either they didn't want to scare you off, or Team Free Will left out a tidbit of information before putting you on this case. Castiel’s eyes widened in surprise for a moment, before his blue orbs shifted away from yours.

  “I don’t know what you mean.” He said, and you would have believed him, had he been able to make eye contact with you while he said it. You huffed, turning and walking away. A scalding shower sounded great right about now.

  “Fine. Don’t tell me,” You said, annoyed. Team Free Will was trying to keep something from you. But if they knew any better, they’d tell you. It was only a matter of time before it blew up in their faces and you found out why they were trying to keep you in the dark.


	7. N.H.A. (No Hunters Allowed)

  After your shower, you found Castiel in the living room, going through case files of what you assumed were the people who went missing. You ran a hand through your damp hair, and plopped down on the couch beside him. His eyes shifted momentarily to you before quickly resuming going over the case files.

  “Did the medical examiner identify any of the bodies yet?” You asked, shoulder brushing his as you peered at the files in his hands. He shook his head, lips pressed into a thin line.

  “No, apparently the bodies are so mutilated the only discerning features they have are the clothes they were wearing when they were killed-and that isn’t giving them much to go on.” He explained, and sighed. You plucked a file from his hands, and the photo of a woman with bright blue eyes stared back at you.

  “These poor people. They had lives, families, people who loved them. And some monster came in and ripped them away from all of that,” You said, sadness creeping into your voice. You allowed yourself to think about your brother-only for a moment-before you quickly pushed the thought away and went back to looking at Phoebe Hart’s file.

  “Y/N, are you alright?” You turned towards the angel, only to discover he was already looking at you with those ocean blue orbs, head canted to the side and brow furrowed in concern. His eyes squinted slightly, seeming to be searching for something. Your stomach did a weird flop, and you blinked, clearing your throat before quickly looking away.

  “I uh-I’m fine,” you said quietly, suddenly very interested in the case file in your hands. You tried not to think about your brother-the only family you had left-that you had left behind and hadn’t spoken to since you’d been with John Winchester. It was hard at first, not being in contact. You remembered that you had told Bobby Singer about your troubles, and the old hunter had convinced you it was for the best. The more people in your life you cared about, the more you had to lose if something went wrong.

  Castiel didn’t pry, nor did he push the subject-though you could tell he wanted to-and you were grateful for that. You didn’t know if you could handle having to explain your estranged brother to those cerulean orbs that could see into the very depths of your soul. That, and there was no way you could breach the subject without dredging up your past, and you definitely didn’t want to do that.

  So the two of you continued looking over case files, you going to get a snack from the almost empty fridge-you’d have to remember to go shopping with Dean’s card at some point-every now and then and Castiel remained in the exact same spot he started, trying to find connections between the missing persons, anything that would form a pattern and give you a lead.

  At some point you’d fallen asleep while hacking into old police records, and the next morning you woke up in bed, the other side showing no sign that anyone had even slept in it. You weren’t surprised by this-Castiel had gotten his grace back, after all. He no longer needed sleep. But a small part of you missed the time he’d come to stay with you when he was human. You’d wake up and there would be someone beside you, someone to remind you that you weren’t quite so alone as you thought.

  You ended up going on that morning run with Cherry, Gina, and a few of the others, and you didn’t hate it as much as you thought you would. You got to canvas the neighborhood, listen in on the gossip, and you learned there was-apparently-a very attractive landscaper that the group liked to ogle whenever he worked on anyone’s backyard.

  At some point, you all got onto the topic of cooking, and you accidentally mentioned that you were an alright cook. The rest of the group insisted they try your cooking at some point, and-after much persuasion from Cherry-you agreed to host a dinner party at your home.

  And that was how you ended up at the grocery store with the angel-no-longer-in-a-trench-coat, looking like a lost puppy as he tried to make sense of the produce section. You wheeled the cart over to him, trying to keep a grin off your face. His brows were doing that thing that you found absolutely adorable, staring at the half of the list you had given him.

  “Something wrong?” You asked, still trying to keep the grin out of your voice. Blue eyes met your E/C ones, and you had to stamp down the feeling that almost made your heart miss a beat.

  “I just don’t understand how one dinner requires this much food.” He said in a serious tone, and a small laugh escaped your lips. Figuring it was a lost cause, you took the list from his hands and pulled him along over to the bell peppers.

  “Well we aren’t just cooking for two, it’s a dinner party. It also doesn’t help that all we have in the fridge is bottled water and cheese sticks.” Castiel nodded in understanding, looking like he had questions but not knowing what to ask. The two of you continued your shopping trip, and for the most part the seraph remained silent, watching with interest as you pulled things off the shelves, and decided which vegetable you preferred over the other.

  It was a surreal experience-shopping with Castiel. It was almost like the two of you were actually married, and you were having a dinner party with the friends you’d made in the neighborhood. And if you really wanted, you could imagine that you really were a housewife with a loving husband. You didn’t have any obligations, no trauma, no pain. You had a family you loved, who you spoke to, and the only worry you had was if your new friends would like your cooking.

  But the missing persons posters on the bulletin board you passed by on your way to check out was there to give you a harsh slap of reality. You were a hunter. You were on a case, and you were undercover. You most certainly didn’t have a husband that knitted his eyebrows together every time something troubled him. You had trauma, you had scars, and you had pain. A whole lot of it. Nothing was going to change that, and the only time you’d ever have a normal life was in your dreams.

  You finished buying your groceries, and walked back to the car, still thinking about how pretending you had a normal life would eventually have to end. Seeming to sense your change in mood, Castiel placed a hand on the small of your back, eyebrows knitted together, blue eyes full of concern. You offered him a small smile, trying to swallow the lump that had formed in your throat. There were many things the eldest Winchester said that you’d chosen to ignore, but he had one thing right.

  Hunters would never get an Apple-Pie life. And that fact became a pill that got harder and harder to swallow each day you spent pretending to be married to the seraph.


	8. Hold On

  You were out walking, enjoying the scenery that the gated community provided, when you nearly collided with Phoebe Hart’s husband-Rob. The man had dark hair and warm features, a smile that made the corners of his eyes crinkle up.

  
  “How are you?” You asked, knowing he couldn’t have been doing that great. His wife was missing, snatched up by a monster, and everyone thought that she’d left her husband and kids to run off with a man she had an affair with. Rumors sucked, especially when you lived in such a close-knit community like this one. Rob sighed and offered a sad smile.

  
  “I’m as well as I can be-considering. It’s hard without Phoebe here, but I have the kids to keep from spiraling. And how are things with you and Castiel? Still in the honeymoon phase?” He asked, and the two of you walked together, neither caring which direction you were going in. You hadn’t had much of a chance to talk with him, so maybe you could see what information you could glean from him.

  
  “We’re doing alright. The only thing I have to worry about is Cas’s snoring,” you said, and the older man chuckled. The two of you walked in a comfortable silence, occasionally dodging a child riding past on a bike or a sprinkler that had been placed too close to the sidewalk. You tried to think of questions you could ask without coming off as suspicious-you were playing the role of a housewife, after all.

  
  “Did you notice anything strange before she disappeared?” You questioned, trying to go through the checklist of usual monsters on the list. Rob looked contemplative a moment before shaking his head.

  
  “I wish I did. Maybe then I could have prevented her from being taken,” he said sadly, and you didn't like the feeling you got in your stomach as you imagined Phoebe laying in a ditch somewhere, body mutilated beyond recognition.

  
  “Do the police have any more information on her disappearance?” You asked softly, wanting to be seen as a concerned neighbor, and not an obtrusive person. Rob let out a defeated sigh, and your heart went out to the man.

  
  “No, they don't have any updates. I don't even know if they are trying to look for her.” You looked over at him, a confused look on your face. When he saw your expression, he elaborated.

  
  “They think she really did have an affair and run off with some guy,” he admitted.

  
  “Oh Rob, I'm so sorry. If it's any consolation, I don't think Phoebe ran off with another man.” You said sincerely-mostly because you figured some monster had snatched her up. Rob offered you a smile, one that momentarily took the sadness from his eyes.

  
  “Thank you Y/N, it means a lot. I'm hopeful that they'll find her eventually. For now I'll just have to do my best without her.” The sound of children laughing and screaming drew your attention, and you were surprised to see a group of children, Castiel amongst them.

  
  They were playing some sort of game, and the smile that the seraph had on his face as he chased the kids around was wreaking havoc on your insides. You fought the emotions that swelled up in your chest as you gave yourself a reality check. You were a hunter. No husband, no house, no kids. Just monsters, shotty motels, and booze to drown out the loneliness.

  
  “Do you love him?” The question caught you off guard, and you dragged your eyes away from Castiel to look at Rob, who was watching you with a warm smile on his face. His smile widened when he saw your startled expression, and he looked back at the seraph.

  
  “Hold on tight to him. Hold onto him with everything you've got. If you don't, there's going to be a time when you wish you did while you still had the chance.” You smiled, but it didn't quite reach your eyes.

  
  “I will.” Your heart clenched at the lie, but you stamped down the feelings threatening to surface.

  
  “I've got to go pick up the kids, it was nice talking to you. I'll see you around.” Rob said goodbye, leaving you to watch Castiel run around with the neighborhood children. As if sensing your presence, he looked up at you, a wide smile on his face that made the skin around his eyes crinkle up, and for a moment, you lost your breath.

  
  He turned his attention back to the children, and said something that made them all let out disappointed groans, and some booed. He was grinning, and said something else, he must have said it quietly because you could barely see his lips move. But it made the children cheer and you could have sworn you heard one of them wish him luck.

  
  He made his way over to you, and you had a hard time getting your heart to beat at a normal pace. You grinned at him when he came to stand in front of you.

  
  “Having fun?” You teased, and you were startled by the laugh that the seraph let out. Had you ever heard him laugh? Your heart couldn't handle that thought, so you tried your best not to think about it.

  
  “I was somehow recruited for their game of Cops and Robbers. But really it was just us running around playing tag,” he explained, a slight furrow forming in his brow. You laughed, shaking your head. What else had you expected?

  
  You thought back to what Rob had said, and your heart sunk down deep. You would eventually have to let the seraph go, and you weren't sure how you'd handle it. As much as you tried to ignore it, there was a nagging voice in the back of your mind that knew your days spent playing ‘house' were numbered.

  
  As hard as it was, you'd just have to remember that this a case. Nothing more, nothing less. It didn't matter if you truly bought into that or not. You just had to keep telling yourself that, and eventually, you'd end up believing it.


	9. The One

  “Why am I purposefully burning the food?” Castiel asked as he placed a few bell peppers onto a burner, brows knitted together in confusion. The seraph had a point, and you weren’t quite so sure yourself.

  “According to the recipe its how you’re supposed to cook them. You just peel off the burnt part and it will be edible.” Castiel looked at you doubtfully, but turned on the burner anyways. You’d decided on kale pasta-not something you’d ever willingly eat, but the website you looked it up on said it was a great dinner party idea.

  “Okay, shallots, garlic, pepper, salt, olive oil…am I missing something?” You mumbled to yourself, looking at the recipe you’d pulled up on your phone. You placed all of the necessary ingredients into a Dutch oven, and turned on the stove, careful to move the dish to the farthest burner away from Castiel and his bell peppers. After he’d finished burning (the recipe said “charring” but you still considered the food burnt) the bell peppers, you instructed him to place them in a bowl and cover it in plastic wrap. He did as he was told, and your lips twitched up at how serious he was taking his task.

  “I know you probably don’t like eating food-since you know, the whole every molecule thing and all-but you’re gonna have to at dinner. It’ll look a little odd if my husband doesn’t touch my cooking,” you said, tips of your ears dusting pink. You still weren’t used to calling Castiel your husband-and you weren’t trying to become familiar with the term. That would set you up for a major fall when this case was over.

  “I don’t mind eating if it’s something you made,” the seraph said quietly as he shredded chicken and put it into tomato sauce. It took you by surprise and you had to fumble in order to prevent the kale you’d been holding from meeting an early demise on the kitchen floor. What were you supposed to make of that? You officially decided; the angel wasn’t good for your heart.

  After you caught sight of the clock on the wall, you were a bundle of nervous energy as you scuttled about the kitchen, trying to make sure everything turned out alright. You could cook, so you weren’t too worried about the taste, but you weren’t sure what everyone would think about it.

  The food was done cooking, and you’d left it in the oven to stay warm. You’d changed into what-you hoped-would pass as dinner party clothes. You were currently fretting over your outfit in the mirror of the downstairs hallway. You’d gone with a simple black dress, a light pink blazer, stockings, and bright red pumps.

 

[ ](https://imgur.com/bPMKGjl)

 

  Was this what people normally wore to dinner parties? You had a hard time deciding if it was too much or not enough. You twirled the silver band around your ring finger, and you’d almost convinced yourself to go and change when you caught sight of Castiel in the mirror behind you.

  Your heart missed more than a couple of beats, and it took a bit of encouragement for you to start breathing normally again. His blue orbs bore into yours, the ocean inside them threatening to sweep you up and take you under the waves if you stared too long. You blinked, looking down at the outfit you were wearing.

  “Is it too much?” You asked shyly. You’d had to adjust your wardrobe for your cover, but you were still the same woman that would always prefer combat boots over heels any day. The seraph’s eyes left yours, and the way his eyes roamed your body had your stomach doing somersaults.

  “It’s missing something,” Castiel admitted, and your eyes shot up to meet his, momentarily confused. But then he produced something from his pocket, and your ears picked up the light tinkling sound of a chain. You eyed the necklace in the mirror. It was a small cross, no bigger than your thumb, with a pink rose in the center. It was small, dainty, something you definitely didn’t usually wear.

 

[ ](https://imgur.com/nc6lVrQ)

 

  You swallowed a lump that had formed in your throat as you realized you once had something similar to this. It was just like your mother’s necklace, she had given it to you as a graduation gift. But you’d lost it when a werewolf’s claws got too close to you, and took the chain instead of your neck. You’d had it back when the Winchesters were out trying to stop the apocalypse-back when you had first met the angel-in-a-trench-coat.

  “Castiel, what-?” You asked, breath having been completely sucked out of you. You were trying to ignore the thoughts running rampant in your mind, the implications that came with this necklace. 

"It may not be the same as your old one, but I thought you'd like it." He remembered. Remembered the necklace you wore all those years ago. Had he noticed when it had gone missing? The seraph was more observant than you had given him credit for.

You allowed him to put the necklace on you, pulling your hair to the side so it wouldn’t get caught in the chain. His fingers brushed against your neck, and lingered after he had clasped the necklace. Your skin seemed to come alive under his touch, a nervous buzzing of energy that reached out and grasped every cell, sending a small shockwave down the length of your spine.

  When your eyes met his again, you swallowed thickly at all of the emotions his eyes held. His blue orbs were light, and he had the faintest hint of a smile on his face. His expression grew serious, and your heart stuttered. This was it. If he said anything, your walls were going to come tumbling down and there was going to be no turning back. He opened his mouth to say something, and you swore you were going to faint.

  But then the doorbell rang, shattering the veil that had built up around the two of you. You blinked, coming back to your senses and tearing your eyes away from the seraph’s. Your ears were a deep shade of red, and you cleared your throat in an attempt to stamp down the storm of emotions that rolled through you.

  “I…I should get that,” you said, quickly retreating towards the door, leaving the angel to stand alone in the hallway. Cherry, Gina, Angela and their husbands were at the door, punctual as ever. You greeted them with bright smiles and laughter, and led them into the dining room. You sat them on the long sides of the table, figuring it would be easier to get through this dinner if Castiel was at the opposite end of you. Once the food had been set out and everyone’s plates were filled, conversation and laughter flowed easily, and you were relieved that this hadn’t turned into a disaster.

  “I have to say, Y/N, this pasta is amazing. You have to give me the recipe!” Angela said, and you flushed at the compliment.

  “Thank you, but it wasn’t just me. I had some help,” you said, smiling and lifting your eyes towards Castiel. Big mistake on your part. He was already looking at you, and unreadable expression on his face that caused your heart to miss a few more beats than what was considered normal. Gina made a noise of exasperation.

  “And he cooks too? Careful Y/N, I might steal him from you!” Gina exclaimed, and you laughed along with everyone else. The rest of the meal passed uneventfully, there was talk of everyone’s children, some gossip that had been floating around the neighborhood, Castiel was invited to an outing that the husbands usually took every month. Everything was going smoothly. That is, until Cherry and the women got nosy.

  “Alright, I want the dirt. Y/N and Castiel are like a textbook definition of romance. I want to know the details. How did he propose? Who realized they loved the other first? What was your honeymoon like?” Your heart rate sky-rocketed at the question, and you let out nervous laughter.

  “Oh I’m sure you don’t want to hear about all that stuff,” You said, your nerves bubbling up inside you. You hadn’t rehearsed any more answers with Castiel, and Cherry and the others were taking their questions into uncharted territory. Angela laughed.

  “Please, I _live_ for this. It’s like I’m reading a romance novel that I haven’t had time to read in ages since the kids keep me busy.” You all laughed, and all of the women nodded in agreement. You inhaled, pushing the pasta around your bowl. Your heart was hammering in your chest, and you were worried this would be the moment your cover was blown.

  “So-Prince Charming-how did you know Y/N was the one?” Gina asked, and your stomach dropped. You looked towards Castiel, and he was already looking at you, blue orbs soft, a small smile playing on his lips. He looked to be contemplating-probably thinking of an answer-before turning to Cherry. Your heart was in your throat. Should you pray to him? Tell him what to say? But the seraph answered before you got the chance to make a decision.

  “When we first met, there were times I took her presence for granted. I didn’t notice the little things. The way she played with her hair when she was nervous, the way her ears turned red when she was flustered. How her eyes would always find yours in moments of uncertainty to let you know she was with you. There was a time when my family had turned me away, kicked me out when I needed them most, and Y/N was the first person I went to. I stood outside her place for hours, trying to gather the courage to knock. And when she opened the door, that’s when I knew. I didn’t have much, but it didn’t matter. She was everything I needed and more.” Castiel made eye contact with you, and you swallowed to keep your heart from jumping out of your mouth.

  The look in his eyes told you he was completely serious. That wasn’t a made-up story. You remembered when Dean had kicked him out of the bunker, how he had sought you out when he had nowhere to go. Your heart was thudding in your ears so loudly you almost didn’t notice the silence that fell over the small group gathered at the table. Gina smacked her husband-John-on the arm playfully.

  “And I can’t even get you to hold a door open for me!” She exclaimed, and the silence was broken by everyone’s laughter. Cherry sighed dreamily, resting her chin atop her hand.

  “Ah, young love.” Cherry turned towards you, jabbing a thumb in Castiel’s direction.

  “You better hold onto this one with everything you’ve got; he’s a keeper.” She said, and you smiled, the tips of your ears turning a dark shade of red.

  “Oh, I will,” you said, still holding the angel’s gaze.

  “You guys are too sweet! You make my heart hurt!” Angela exclaimed, and it sent everyone into another fit of laughter. The rest of the evening was filled with light-hearted banter, a few embarrassing questions about your sex life, and hilarious anecdotes about everyone’s college adventures. All of you hadn’t even realized it had gotten so late until Angela checked the time.

  “Goodness! How the time flies! We better get going, we’ve got an early day tomorrow. Luke’s got jazz band rehearsal,” Angela said, and her and her husband-Garrett-rose from their seats, as well as everyone else. You said a few parting words to everyone, and after more gushing from Cherry, eventually you and Castiel were alone in the house. He helped you put away the dishes, and as you washed them, his words from earlier held fast in your mind.

  “That was quite the story,” you said, stomach doing a weird flop as you washed a pan, “I was worried our cover was going to be blown.” You heard him shift behind you, and you felt his presence directly behind you. You gripped the dish in your hand tightly, the nerve-endings in your body going haywire.

  “I didn’t make it up,” you felt his breath against the back of your neck, and the tips of your ears turned a deep shade of red. What were you supposed to make of that? Neither of you said anything, simply listening to each other’s breath, the silence heavy and taut. There was something-words unspoken-that hung heavy in the air, a myriad of emotions tangled together that you weren’t sure you wanted to pick apart.

  “I’m uh-I’m gonna go check in with Sam and Dean,” you said, swallowing thickly, “see how things are going on their end.” You turned and nearly collided with Castiel as you made your escape, heart hammering in your chest. That was dangerous, too close. You’d almost allowed the seraph into the very depths of your soul, let him see everything you’d ever tried to hide. You shook your head.

  You weren’t ready to deal with the implications behind Castiel’s words. For now, you were just going to work the case, and pretend Castiel hadn’t just confessed to you.


	10. Taken

  But that didn’t mean Castiel made it any easier to ignore. You became aware of the smallest gestures-the way his lips twitched up into a smile when he found something amusing, the slight furrow in his brow when he was focused on something, the gentle hand he’d place on the small of your back to let you know he was there-all of it was making your systems go into overdrive, and your heart hadn’t slowed down since the other night.

  You didn’t want to give Castiel the impression his words had affected you, so you tried your best to act like everything was normal, and made sure to play up the newly-weds act when you were out in public or had company over. All in all, it was working-for the most part.

  But there were times when you slipped up, said or did something that gave away too much, and the tips of your ears would turn red as you fumbled for a valid explanation that you could play it off as. When the seraph looked at you in those moments, blue orbs looking into the depths of your soul, you knew that he saw the truth. You were just grateful he hadn’t brought it up yet.

  “Are you alright? You seem distracted lately,” Cherry asked one morning while you were out on your daily run. Had it really been that obvious? If Cherry could tell something was off about you, then there was no doubt in your mind that Castiel did. You continued jogging down the road, and offered a smile.

  “I’m fine, just thinking about things, I guess.” There wasn’t as many of you out running today. Usually you and Cherry were joined by Gina, Angela, and sometimes Margaret, but none of them never showed.  You both figured they’d been busy with their families. Cherry smiled at you, blonde pigtail swishing back and forth as the two of you ran.

  “Is it about Castiel?” She asked, and you wondered how she was so good at picking things up. You nodded.

  “I don’t really know how to explain it. I’m just…afraid, I guess. I feel like I’m walking on eggshells,” you explained, and Cherry smiled.

  “I get it. You realize you have something special. Hell, we’ve all seen it. You’re worried you’ll say something or do something to mess it all up and it will all fall apart.” You blinked. Actually, that was exactly what you were feeling. Upon seeing your expression, Cherry nudged you.

  “Y/N, you have nothing to worry about. I’ve seen the way he looks at you when you aren’t looking. I wish Todd looked at me like that-like I was most precious thing in the world. Trust me when I say there is nothing you could do or say that would turn that man away.” Her words caused your stomach to do somersaults, and you tried to swallow the feeling that swelled up in your chest.

  “Thanks,” you mumbled out, the tips of your ears turning red. As much as you hated to admit it, her words had helped to calm the turmoil of emotions running through you. And as you ran, you started to build your resolve. You could do this. You would work the case, gank the monster, and go back to hunting down vamp nests. Castiel would rejoin Sam and Dean, and they would disappear for months on end to go save the world. And the cycle would repeat, with the occasional update from the Winchesters on how they were doing. It may not have been the lifestyle you had imagined for yourself when you were younger, but it was the life you had chosen, and there was no turning back now.

  When you and Cherry turned the corner, close to where you had started your run, you noticed a police car parked outside Angela’s house. The two of you shared a look, and you jogged over, concerned for the well-being of your mutual friend. As you reached the driveway, two officers walked out of the home, followed by a very distressed Garrett-Angela’s husband. The two of you hurried over to the disgruntled man, worry evident in your features.

  “Garrett? What’s wrong?” Cherry asked, and the man put his head in his hands.

  “It’s Angie. She’s gone. She hasn’t been home in two days. At first, I thought she was with you and we were both so busy we just hadn’t been running into each other. But then Luke told me he’d been walking to his jazz band rehearsals.” You felt like you’d just been dunked in a bucket of ice water as reality came crashing down on you. You’d been so caught up in your emotions, and now you were paying the price. You’d let the monster snatch someone from right under your nose.

  “I’m so sorry, but don’t worry, I’m sure they’ll find her,” Cherry offered, placing a comforting hand on Garrett’s shoulder. He shook her off, gaze hardening.

  “Did they find Phoebe? Joanna? What about Dani? Have they found her yet? Have they found _anyone_?” Garrett’s voice was getting louder, voice raw with emotion. Your mind was reeling with this information. So, he had put the pieces together. He knew something was going on. You wanted to press him for information, but you knew that in your current position there is no way in hell you had a right to ask him any questions that would help the case along. You’d have to call Sam and Dean and make sure they got around to questioning Garrett.

  “We’ll leave you alone for now. We’re sorry about Angie. Just…don’t give up, okay? We don’t know anything for sure,” you said in a quiet, calm voice. You pulled Cherry away, and left Garrett to finish talking to the officers. You and Cherry remained in silence as you walked on, both lost in thought about Angela’s disappearance. Clearly the women of the community were being targeted, but why?

  With each disappearance, the more and more your frustration built. What did all these women have in common? Was it the location itself? Were they all just easy targets, sitting ducks while the monster had its fill? The endless questions were enough to make you want to rip your hair out. And you didn’t have a single lead. No one had seen anything suspicious or strange-a thought suddenly struck you. Angela had seen Phoebe with a man she didn’t recognize before she disappeared. And then she went missing. As much of a revelation as it was, with Angela now missing as well, it was a dead end.

  When you and Cherry finally reached the spot you usually ended your runs, you were surprised to see Gina sitting on the curb, tucked in on herself. She looked pale, fragile, like the smallest noise might send her running. Like she’d seen a ghost. You and Cherry hurried to the woman.

  “Gina?” You called softly, and her eyes met yours, a haunted look held deep within them. Your gut wrenched, not liking the feeling you were getting. Something had happened. But what?

  “I saw the man who took Angie.”


	11. Last Straw

  “Can you tell us what happened?” You asked Gina. You’d brought Gina back to your home, figuring it was the best place to talk without any interruptions. Castiel had gone out to discuss the case with Sam and Dean, and most likely wouldn’t be back until later that day. The three of you were sat in your living room on the sofa, Gina in the middle of you and Cherry. You’d gotten the brunette tea, hoping it would help calm her nerves.

  “It was two nights ago. I like to take the dog for a walk before bed,” she said quietly, letting out a shaky breath. You placed a comforting hand on the woman’s shoulder, trying your best to console her visibly shaken form.

  “I was walking by Angie’s, and I saw her talking to someone outside. A man, dark hair, he looked like he had a limp when he walked. I didn’t recognize him, but it was too dark to notice any discerning features,” Gina said, and you made a mental note to tell Team Free Will about the description. This was the first solid lead they’d had since they started working this case, and if it panned out, they might finally have an idea of what they were hunting.

  “Did you go to the police?” You asked, and Gina shook her head no.

  “Why haven’t you?” Cherry asked, concern etched into her face. Gina shook her head fervently, grip tightening on the mug.

  “I’ve been too afraid. What if I was the last person to see her alive?” Gina asked, voice wavering. You didn’t know what to say. Because in reality, Gina probably had been the last person to see her alive. There was no way to reassure her that her friend was alive and well.

  “Gina sweetie, you can’t think like that,” Cherry said, placing a hand on her knee. Gina sniffled, and your heart went out to her.

  “Why shouldn’t I? No one’s come back, and we can’t just keep pretending they all ran away to escape their lives. They were _happy_. They had families who loved them, people who adored them. And we’re all sitting here pretending that something wrong isn’t happening!” She exclaimed, and you and Cherry stayed silent. Gina had made it clear that everyone was starting to notice just how frequently people went missing, and you and Team Free Will still didn’t have much to go on.

  After more consoling, and convincing Gina to go to the police, Cherry and Gina left to head to the police station. You were left to your own devices, and you stood at the island counter in the kitchen, looking at the casefiles. All of their folders were spread across the countertop, and you stared, trying to connect the dots.

  Something wasn’t adding up. There wasn’t a certain amount of time that passed with each missing person. So that left out any monster that hunted during certain times of the month. And it also eliminated any ritual killings. You’d have guessed vampires, if it wasn’t for the fact the bodies were mutilated beyond recognition. That, and there was the fact the bodies hadn’t been identified. It was really only a guess that they were the women who’d gone missing. You sighed in frustration.

  “Why did it pick you?” You mumbled to yourself, picking up Phoebe Hart’s picture. And then the pieces started to fall into place. All these missing women were married. And they lived in the gated community. You were starting to form an idea in your mind, but you were still missing the important pieces. Was it a deity that hated happy couples? You’d heard of a case Sam and Dean had gone on that fit the bill. But there were no signs that would indicate this being the work of a deity. You took out your phone and dialed a number.

  “Yeah.” The hunter picked up on the second ring.

  “Dean, it’s me. Someone else went missing, and I haven’t been able to find anything solid. I’m losing my mind over here. How are things on your end?” You asked, hopeful that the Winchesters were having better luck than you were. And unless your newly acquired kale pasta recipe was the key to finding this monster, you had nothing. There was a pause from the other end, some shuffling around, and muffled conversation in the background. You could hear Sam and Castiel, but they weren’t close enough to the phone for you to hear.

  “…nothing new on our end, we just keep visiting the medical examiner hoping she’s found something new.” Dean’s delayed pause didn’t escape you, and you narrowed your eyes. That was all? In all the time you’d been over here playing house with the seraph, the brothers hadn’t found any solid leads?

  “Anything stand out to you about the bodies? They were mutilated beyond recognition, right? Did you get a close look at them? See anything weird?” You pressed, getting the sneaking suspicion that he wasn’t telling you something. That seemed to be the trend of this case. And it was starting to get on your nerves.

  “Aside from the obvious, there wasn’t anything to look into. We’ve just been retracing this thing’s steps, looking through the missing persons to try and find a pattern. So far, there hasn’t been one.” Dean explained. They’d asked for your help with this case, and now they were hiding things?

  “Alright, keep me posted. Oh, and Dean?”

  “Hm?”

  “Keep hiding things from me and I’m going to work this case on my own.” You hung up before the eldest Winchester could say anything. You huffed, annoyed. You’d had enough of being left in the dark, and it was time you stopped waiting for Sam and Dean to find things on their end. You got the feeling that even if they did, they wouldn’t inform you. They probably didn’t want you going off and doing anything that would put you in danger, but if that was the case, why even ask for your help? You dialed another number, and it picked up on the first ring.

  “Y/N?”

  “Hey, Cherry. Are you and the girls free tonight?” You asked. The idea you had earlier was back, and now that you were certain you weren’t going to get anywhere waiting around for Team Free Will, you were going to take things into your own hands.

  “Yeah, all of us usually have a night in during this time of the month. Why?” You grinned.

  “Get dressed. We’re going out tonight.”

 

 

  “Y/N! You look…wow,” Cherry said when she opened the door to her house. In order to avoid a certain seraph, you’d decided it was best if everyone was to meet at Cherry’s place. Okay, you had to admit, the dress and the leather jacket was a bit much, but it had to be this look if you’re plan was going to work at all. You couldn’t give off the housewife vibe where you were going.

  You entered the living room, where Gina and Margaret were sitting, dressed to go out. When they saw you, their eyes widened slightly.

 

[](https://imgur.com/KZqUEN3)

 

  “Castiel saw you in that and let you leave the house?” Margaret said playfully, and the sentence irked you. If the angel was going to leave you in the dark, then you were going to do the same. But you donned a grin anyways, forcing a laugh.

  “He’s busy with work. This’ll show him he’s been too distracted with work lately,” you said, grin widening, and the rest of the women laughed.

  “So where are we going?” Gina asked, eyes skeptical.” This time you grinned for real.

  “Everything’s been tense lately. I think we need a night to take some time, enjoy ourselves, and not worry about anything,” You explained, and Margaret grinned.

  “I think I know where you’re going with this, and I’m totally in.”

 

  The bar wasn’t as crowded as you thought it would be, though considering its location, you figured as much. The four of you quickly ordered drinks, found a table, and a night of de-stressing ensued. You’d lost the jacket early on, it had gotten too stuffy with it on. You downed drink after drink-when was the last time you’d had anything harder than wine?-and you were content. Cherry’s laughter was infectious, and she’d ended up dragging each and every one of you out to the dance floor at some point throughout the night.

  The music wasn’t to your taste, but the women seemed to love it. You were happy to see them enjoying themselves, you knew that with everything going on, it must not have been easy to relax. The lingering question of “ _who’s next?_ ” always taking precedent in their minds. You imagined they hadn’t take time for themselves in a while, and you were glad you had got most of them to come out with you. Thinking of Angela dampened your mood slightly, but that was nothing a few more drinks couldn’t fix.

  “I’m so glad you took us out tonight! I needed this!” Cherry said excitedly, giggling before she left the dance floor to get another drink. You danced with Margaret for most of the night, ignoring the stares you were getting, and not taking anyone up on their offers to dance. It probably wouldn’t look too good for your cover as a married woman. You’d ditched the ring for tonight, but there was a reason for that.

  You were buzzed after one drink too many, and decided you’d take a break from all the dancing and sit at the booth you’d found in the back. Gina was there as well, and looked like she’d seen a ghost. This wasn’t enough to put you on high alert, but it was enough to gain your attention.

  “Gina? What’s wrong?” You asked, and she looked up at you, eyes wide with fear.

  “He’s here.” That was all she offered up, and you furrowed your eyebrows in confusion.

  “Who’s here?” You asked, and Gina’s eyes darted to the counter. You followed her gaze, but no one particularly stood out to you.

  “The man I saw with Angie. I-I think he’s here,” she said quietly, you almost had trouble hearing her. If you weren't sober before, you were now. You nodded at her, following her gaze once more and spotting a man with dark hair on the far end of the bar. Not much stood out about him, but then again, you could only see the back of his head. You looked back at her.

  “You sure that’s him?” You asked. She pressed her lips into a thin line.

  “I haven’t seen him walking, so I don’t know if he has a limp. But I’m sure of it.” You contemplated for a minute, before grinning and patting her arm.

  “Let’s go find out, shall we?” You rose from your seat, and Gina looked horrified. She caught your arm.

  “Are you crazy? Do you want to end up missing like everyone else?” She hissed, and you winked at her, maneuvering yourself out of her grip. You let out a laugh.

  “Relax, I’ve got this.” Gina made more attempts to call you back, but you were already halfway there, making your way past the body of people crowding the dance floor. You sidled up to the bar, sliding into the seat beside the man.

  “Is this seat taken?” The man turned towards you, and you were met with piercing green eyes. You had to admit, he was quite attractive. Chiseled features and dark hair that looked soft enough to want to run your hands through it. If this guy was the thing you were hunting, you could understand how he got the women to trust him. He appraised you with an amused glint in his eyes, corner of his mouth upturned.

  “It is now.” You signaled the bartender for another drink before turning your body towards him. Flashes of the last time you had been vamp-bait ran rampant in your mind, and you swallowed thickly at the knot that had started to form in your stomach. You shook the thoughts away. Now was not the time to get sick, you had to find out if this guy was really the one taking those women.

  “What’s your name? I’m Y/N,” you said, laughing and leaning forward, trying your best to play it up. You could feel eyes on you, and you knew that Gina had probably told Cherry and the others what you were up to.

  “Damien,” he responded, and you could hear the smile in his voice. Maybe if you passed as some random drunk girl at a bar you could get to the bottom of this. You placed a hand on his arm.

  “Wanna dance?” You asked, leaning close so he could hear you over the music and chatter of the bar. His eyes flicked down to your lips briefly.

  “I don’t really dance,” he admitted, and your mind raced to find a way to convince him out on the dance floor. If he didn’t walk you couldn’t confirm whether or not he had a limp. But your instincts were telling you that this was the guy, and you weren’t about to let him slip away.

  “Come on, what do you say we-”

  “What are you doing here?” The voice startled you, and you dragged your eyes away from the man named Damien to see the seraph standing directly beside you. And he looked _pissed_. Blue eyes dark like the ocean during a storm, shoulders back in a way that would have intimidated you, had you not been upset with him.

  “I’m enjoying myself. Why are _you_ here?” You said, looking back towards the green-eyed man, sending him a wink. Castiel’s jaw ticked, and he grabbed your arm.

  “We’re leaving,” he ground out through gritted teeth, and you ripped your arm out of his grasp, glaring.

  “I don’t want to, and I’m not going anywhere with you. Now, if you wouldn’t mind-” You were cut off by Castiel gripping your upper arm and pulling you out of your chair, and you stumbled into his chest.

  “I wasn’t asking,” he said in your ear, and you knew the seraph’s patience was wearing thin-and so was yours. You weren’t going anywhere if you were going to keep being left in the dark about the case you were working. But Castiel was using his angelic strength this time, and left no room to argue as he dragged you out of the bar. You’d caught the apologetic gazes of Cherry, Gina, and Margaret before you were outside.

  A black sky loomed overhead, and there was no moon to light up the night. The wind was cool, but not unpleasant, and the two of you walked through the parking lot, neither saying a word.  The only thing that filled the silence was the occasional hoot of an owl, and the clicking of your heels. Castiel released you once you were at the car, and you crossed your arms over your chest, but got into the car anyways, figuring he’d just drag you back if you tried to head back inside.

  You winced at how hard the angel slammed his door once he got behind the wheel, his grip tight enough to make his knuckles turn white. The car ride was silent, and you weren’t going to change that. That is, until you remembered why you had gone to the bar in the first place, and Castiel had ruined your only shot at a lead. He had no right to just storm in and pull you away when you were trying to actually make progress in this case. If things continued like this, the body count would just keep getting higher.

  “What the hell is your problem?” You asked, tone sharp and biting. His jaw ticked, and if his grip got any tighter on the steering wheel you swore he’d break it.

  “What’s _my_ problem? We are supposed to be undercover, and you’re at a bar-”

  “I was following a lead! I went out with Cherry and her friends so it wouldn’t look suspicious! What’s _your_ excuse?” The more you thought about it, the more it didn’t make sense. Why had Castiel been at that bar? Cherry and the others didn’t have enough time to call him to tell him you were talking to the guy who’d taken the rest of the women.  And since he could only drive, not fly, he would have never gotten there as fast as he did. The less it made sense, the angrier you got.

  “That is not the point! You went out, put yourself at risk-”

  “I was doing my _job_! Something you seem to forget that I have!” You exclaimed. This was the last straw. The boys were keeping something from you, and you’d had enough. The angel cut his eyes towards you.

  “What’s that supposed to mean?” He asked, voice low.  You closed your eyes and let out a frustrated noise.

  “I’m a _hunter_ , and in case you’ve forgotten, danger is in the job description! I don’t know why you guys can’t that through your thick skulls! You think I normally just sit around waiting for you guys to come calling? I hunt! I work cases, I gank monsters, and I get banged up along the way! I’ve been a hunter most of my life, and this poor excuse of a fake marriage isn’t going to change that.” You’d regretted that last part as soon as it had left your mouth, but there was no taking it back.

  Castiel didn’t say anything after that, and the silence hung heavy in the air, words that should have been left unsaid wrapping around your neck, you felt like you were suffocating. As soon as the car pulled into the driveway of the house, you hopped out of the car, slamming the door with a resounding thud. It was colder out, and as you looked up at the sky, you could see storm clouds starting to form.

  In all your years of being a hunter, you knew that if there was a sudden storm, the Winchesters weren’t far behind.


	12. Truth

  The sky was a mottled grey, threatening storm clouds looming overhead. Rain fell hard to the earth, splashing against the asphalt as cars drove by. The wind had picked up, and a low howling could be heard amongst the trees. A flash of lightning lit up the sky, followed by thunder. The storm was finally here.

  “I’m Agent Plant and this is my partner, Agent Page. Mind if we ask you a few questions?” Badges were flashed too quick for you to really look at them, and you stepped aside to let the two FBI agents, shaking your head once you closed the door.

  “Page and Plant? Seriously? How many times have you two gotten away with that?” You asked the two tall figures standing in the entranceway. The taller of the two chuckled, his smile lighting up his hazel eyes.

  “Too many times,” he responded. You rolled your eyes, and led the two Winchester brothers to the living room. You already had your laptop open on the table, casefiles spread out in a clutter. You’d been hacking into security footage of the bar from last night, trying to locate where your lead had ended up.

  “How is everything?” Sam asked, and you shrugged, resuming your seat on the couch.

  “I’ve integrated into the community well enough, made friends with some of the wives. Lots of wine drinking and gossiping while exercising,” you answered, and the younger Winchester chuckled.

  “Where’s Cas?” Dean asked, eyes scanning the room seemingly in search of the angel.

  “How should I know?” You asked, and it came out with more bitterness than you’d intended. Your response had their eyebrows shooting up to their hairlines. As if on cue, the angel walked in, and you tensed. Neither of you had spoken to each other since last night, and you’d pretty much been dodging him to avoid feeling guilty. Though the guilt was mostly drowned out by the anger.

  The brothers glanced back and forth between you and the seraph, eyes furrowing in confusion as they took in your tensed form on the couch, and the angel’s posture. Thunder boomed in the sky, and you swore you could feel the vibrations roll through the floorboards.

  “Trouble in paradise?” Dean asked, a smirk creeping its way onto his lips. The dirty looks you and the angel both shot him had the hunter raising his hands up in surrender. Sam cleared his throat awkwardly, and you sighed, ignoring those hazel eyes that you knew would bring this up later.

  “So they’ve found another body, same M.O. as the others,” Sam said, pulling up images from his tablet of the crime scene as he sat down next to you. You looked over his shoulder, and swallowed at the carnage in the photo. Blood was everywhere, and the body was almost in pieces, everything hanging together by the thinnest strands of sinew. It looked like someone had chewed the woman up and spit her back out. There wasn’t much left of her face either, identifying her would be impossible. Your heart sank low, not knowing whether or not you were looking at Angela. The thought made you sick.

  “There’s no way a werewolf did this; the heart’s not missing. And it’s definitely not vampires; too much blood. Have you narrowed it down?” You asked, looking up from the tablet and catching the shared look from Castiel and Dean. Your jaw ticked.

  “We’ve been doing some research, but we haven’t found anything conclusive. Nothing’s adding up,” Sam offered, drawing your eyes away from the pair that was still standing. You let out a breath, grateful that someone from Team Free Will was at least keeping you in the loop.

  “I’ve been hacking into the security footage of one of the local bars, I think I found our guy. One of the women I was talking to-Gina-thought she recognized him while we were there. Thought he was the guy she saw with the latest missing person,” You said, and Dean looked over at you, a slight frown on his face.

  “And what were you doing at that bar?” Dean asked in an accusatory tone, and his green eyes lit up with anger. You narrowed your eyes at the eldest Winchester. Wind howled deafeningly outside, and the house creaked in protest.

  “I already told you. Keep hiding things, and I work this case alone.” Castiel’s brows did that thing they always do at your words. And while you normally would have found it adorable, you knew that he was going to reprimand you once more, and it stoked the flames that had lit since the last argument.

  “You can’t go do things on your own, it isn’t safe! In case you haven’t noticed, there’s a monster out there snatching up married women, and you fit that bill!” Dean exclaimed, hands balling into fists. You slammed the lid of your laptop closed.

  “I am _not_ married. And I can take care of myself, _Dean Winchester_. I’m a hunter, but with the way you’ve all been acting I’m one step away from being just some bystander!” Dean’s jaw ticked.

  “We’re just trying to keep you safe! You could-”

  “I don’t need to be protected!” You shot back, and you were interrupted by Dean’s cell before it could become a shouting match between the two of you. He grunted, picking up and mumbling something into the receiver.

  “What?” His posture straightened, and he nodded at whatever the person on the phone was saying.

  “We’ll head over now.” Dean hung up. Thunder cracked across the sky, and the rain could be heard pelting down against the roof of the house.

  “Dean?” Sam asked, and the hunter dragged a hand down his face.

  “They finally identified one of the bodies. It’s Phoebe Hart.” Your heart dropped to the pit of your stomach, and you swallowed. Phoebe hadn’t run off like everyone had been hoping. Some monster had gotten to her, and Angela was next.

  “Sammy you stay here with Y/N, me and Cas’ll go check it out.” The older hunter and the angel left, leaving you and Sam to continue looking at the victim’s files.  For the most part, the two of you sat in silence, and that was perfectly fine with you. If there was silence, there wasn’t anyone dodging your questions.

  “Did you and Cas get into a fight?” Sam asked, and you didn’t have to look up from your laptop to know he had set those damn puppy-dog eyes on you. You sighed, sitting back and rubbing your eyes.

  “That obvious, huh?” You said, sarcasm laced in your tone. The youngest Winchester chuckled.

  “You didn’t look Cas in the eyes once,” Sam said, and you winced internally.

  “You guys have been keeping me in the dark, and I took it out on him,” you offered in explanation.

  “You sure that’s the only reason?” You cracked an eye open to peer at him, frowning.

  “What’s that supposed to mean?” You asked, sounding more defensive than you’d intended. Sam raised his hands up in surrender.

  “Look, all I’m saying is that you don’t normally give us the cold shoulder when you’re upset at Dean being protective. You’re usually at our throats.” And that’s when you stopped lying to yourself. Sure, you were still agitated that the boys were keeping something from you, but like most cases, they’d exclude things to keep you from putting yourself in danger. Still made you want to throttle them, but you understood. You knew why you’d been avoiding the angel.

  “It’s just…I can’t keep pretending to be married to Cas, be some lovey-dovey couple that throws dinner parties and lives in a cookie-cutter house. I know when this case is done it’ll all be over, I’ll go back to taking out vamp nests, and that will be it. I’ll hunt, I’ll drink, and I’ll pretend everything’s okay. I don’t want to keep living a lie that I so badly want to be true,” you let out a shaky breath, resting your head on the back of the couch. Sam got a sad look in his eyes, and you groaned as the puppy dog look turned up to the max.

  “And if I avoid him, then it won’t hurt,” You finished, and Sam nodded in understanding, seeming to mull over what you said.

  “Have you tried talking? To Cas, I mean. Explain your reasoning. I’m sure he’ll understand. Let him know you’re not pissed at him, because Cas looks like a kicked puppy every time he looks at you.” You were immediately shot with a wave of guilt. You were the one who couldn’t grasp your emotions and put a lid on it, so why did he have to suffer for that? You sighed heavily, looking over at the younger Winchester.

  “Alright. I’ll talk to him.”


	13. Home

  By _talking_ , you meant that you would apologize for giving him the cold shoulder. You weren’t going to tell him about the mess that was your emotions. You were perfectly happy letting him think you’d only been mad because of the case. Oh, how you wished that were true. But after your brief talk the two of you fell back into the rhythm of things, acting like a couple in public, going grocery shopping, researching the case. You’d had a tough time reminding yourself this was just a case, but you knew it would be over soon enough.

  By the end of the week you and Castiel found yourselves at another one of Cherry’s backyard parties, and news of Phoebe’s body being found had made its rounds. There was plenty of hushed chatter amongst everyone about it, empty speculations and assumptions about who could have done it. Everyone had an almost sick fascination in discussing the crime, but it didn’t sit well with you. You thought of Garrett, and you knew Angela was going to turn up as one of the bodies. Phoebe had turned up, so she was bound to eventually. You’d spotted Rob and chatted with him, heart going out to him in the wake of everything.

  “How are you holding up?” You asked the older man softly, knowing that it was a loaded question; more so now since his wife was dead. He offered you a sad smile, and your heart wanted to break.

  “It’s weird. I’m devastated that she’s gone, but in a way, I’m relieved.” Seeing the look on your face, he chuckled lightly as if to somehow make things hurt less.

  “At least I know she didn’t run off with some guy. Though I almost wish she had. Then she’d still be alive,” Rob said, voice raw with emotion. You placed a comforting hand on his arm.

  “I’m sorry Rob, losing a loved one is never easy. I never met her, but from what I heard, she seemed like a wonderful person,” you said, and Rob smiled.

  “She was everything I could have ever wanted,” he said, getting choked up, “if you’ll excuse me.” You watched him walk away, heart wrenching. You wished that there was something that could be done for him. But the dead didn’t come back because you wanted them to. You chided yourself, having never felt so useless on a case before. More women were going to go missing.

  But what could you do? Try and prevent it? You’d hit dead end after dead end, nothing turning up a lead. You’d tried to look at the bar footage, but you hadn’t seen that guy again. You would brush him off as a random passerby, but something in your gut told you that that wasn’t the case. You’d had him, and he slipped through your fingers. You were trying not to be angry with the angel-that would have led to more harsh words and regret-so instead, you’d been mingling with other people at the party. You weren’t trying to _avoid_ him per se, but distance did keep you from yelling at him and taking your jumbled-up emotions out on him in that moment.

  “Trouble in paradise?” Your jaw ticked at Margaret’s words. If one more person asked you that question, you were going to run them through with your angel blade.

  “Me and Cas had a small disagreement over the night we all went out,” you supplied, and Margaret immediately looked guilty, apology lighting up in her eyes. Cherry gave you a nudge.

  “I’m sure everything will turn out alright Y/N, every marriage has its rough patch. You just have to work through it,” she said, and you offered her a small smile in appreciation.

  “But don’t let him win. We’re always right,” Cherry joked, winking. You and Margaret laughed.

  “Well I don’t know about you, but I need another drink,” Margaret said, and you couldn’t help but nod in agreement. The three of you continued to chat, and Gina made a brief appearance at some point in the night, but she left when she felt the party was too much for her. You understood. Her best friend had gone missing, and with Phoebe’s body turning up, you knew the woman had her fears confirmed that Angela, too, was dead.

  "I still can't believe you went and tried to question the guy who might've been kidnapping everyone!" Margaret spoke in a hushed tone, downing the drink she had in hand.

  "What ever possessed you to do something so dangerous?" Cherry asked, voice concerned. You supposed she had a right to be. In her eyes, you were just another target who had gone and actively put yourself on that guy's radar. You were asking for trouble, and Cherry didn't want to see you disappear like the rest of her friends. You sighed, feeling somewhat guilty for making her worry. But it  wasn't as though you couldn't handle yourself, should the need arrive.

  "I don't know what I was thinking...I guess I just felt like I had to do something, ya know? I couldn't just let him get away," you supplied, shrugging non-chalantly. Margaret and Cherry nodded in understanding. Before the three of you could discuss anything further, you felt a hand being placed on the small of your back, and-judging by the way your heart tried to leave your body and your nerves went haywire-you knew it was the seraph who stood behind you.

  "Castiel! How wonderful of you to join us! Thank you for coming!" Cherry exclaimed, and she exchanged a look with you. You smiled, genuinely this time. Despite having known the woman for a short couple of weeks, you had grown fond of her. You were touched that she would have your back in this arguement-even if she hadn't agreed with your actions.

  "It is no problem, I know Y/N has grown quite fond of you, as have I. If she's happy, I'm happy," and you were completely caught off-guard by the swift kiss Castiel placed to your temple, before disappearing once again into the sea of people that Cherry had invited. The tips of your ears turned a dark shade of red, and you swore your heart was going to beat right out of your chest.

  He just wasn't playing  _fair_. How were you going to pretend you were still arguing if he acted like that? Granted, he didn't know you were still arguing, but that was besides the point. Margaret raised an eyebrow at you, and a small smirk formed on her lips.

  "Doesn't seem like you're arguing," she said, and you shot her a look. She simply laughed, shaking her head.

  "I'm going to go see what Jerry's gotten himself up to," she rolled her eyes, "probably bragging about something." The three of you laughed, and she parted ways. Cherry turned to you, a serious look on her face.

 "How are you really? Clearly you two aren't arguing over that night at the bar. Is this about before?" You swore she was too observant for her own good. You shrugged, and she sent you a sympathetic smile.

  "Y/N, I told you before. No matter how unreal this all seems, it's real. Even if there are times you think this is just some fantasy, it's real. Not your house, your friends, or the life you've started to build. Those all might change over time. But the connection that the two of you have-the bond you share-doesn't have an expiration date. And  _nothing_ is going to change that. It just takes some time getting used to," She said, smile lighting up her eyes.

  "Thank you," you said quietly. Sometimes you swore Cherry could see the inner workings of your mind, get to the root of the problem without even knowing any of the context. Her words confirmed your suspicions, helped steel the emotions you'd been battling with. And you were almost ready to face them, ready to face the vast ocean in those blue eyes that could see into the depths of your soul-but not yet.

  Still trying to avoid the seraph, Cherry sent you inside once the party had started winding down to help Todd put some of the food away. You happily obliged, but not before catching sight of ocean blue eyes watching you with an intensity that had your heart threatening to leap out of your mouth.

  “So where did you say you were originally from?” Todd asked as you helped him with putting away the leftovers. You shrugged, putting the bowl of fruit salad in the fridge.

  “I moved around a lot when I was younger, so I never really had a place to consider where I came from.” It was a half-truth, and you’d gotten used to telling many of those over the course of your life.

  “But I guess I’d say South Dakota if I had to pick. It was where I ended up before I moved out on my own.” Not totally a lie. There was some truth. You smiled to yourself. You weren’t born there, but you’d met Bobby there, and it wasn’t until then that your new life had truly begun.

  “Pretty far from here,” you were startled by the closeness of his voice, he was close enough that you could feel his breath on the back of your neck. You closed the fridge and spun around, noticing he had moved significantly closer.

  “I guess you could say that,” you said, eyes darting down and side-stepping to create space between you. But he mirrored your movements, efficiently blocking your path towards the back door. You felt bile rising to your throat, and you fought to drown out the memories that were threatening to resurface. You glanced up, the predatory gaze in Todd’s eyes sending a cold chill down your spine.

  “You’re not like the rest of the woman here,” Todd said, and you froze, immediately tensing up. Those words had been spoken to you before, by breath tainted with copper and hands as cold as ice. Your stomach lurched, and you took a step back, spine hitting the island countertop. Your heart was racing a mile a minute, and you were beginning to panic.

“I-I should get back,” You said, voice wavering. You clenched your trembling hands into fists, nails digging into your palms as you tried to remind yourself that Todd was only human. Despite the reassurance of the knowledge that you could definitely take him, your body wouldn’t cooperate as he leaned closer.

“You’re so beautiful,” he muttered, reaching up and stroking your hair. Your breath hitched, and your stomach churned as a wave of nausea swept over you. You dug your nails deeper into your palms, trying to calm yourself as you swallowed down the nausea.

  “What the hell are you doing?” The deep gravelly voice made it instantly easier to breathe, and you turned your watery gaze towards the angel who’d come to your rescue.

  “Castiel,” you breathed out, voice hoarse. The angel’s posture was stiff, jaw clenched, and those blue orbs had turned into tidal waves, holding rage unlike any you'd ever seen. If he hadn’t been holding himself back, you suspected his eyes would have been glowing. He looked ready to kill, fists clenched tightly as if one wrong move would set him off. His gaze softened a fraction when he turned his attention to you.

  “Are you alright?” He asked, and you let out a shaky breath, before shaking your head, tears that you’d been trying to hold back spilling over. Todd immediately stepped back, hands raised.

  “Hey now, we were just-”

  “I wasn’t talking to you,” Castiel bit out, sending the iciest glare you’d ever seen towards him. Todd immediately shut up, face paling as the angel advanced forward. Castiel gripped Todd by the front of his shirt and yanked him forward.

 “Lay your filthy hands on my wife _ever_ again, and I'll smite you where you stand.” Castiel spoke in a voice dangerously low, and you swore his eyes flashed bright blue. Todd blanched, and the seraphim released him rather roughly.

  Castiel was by your side in an instant, hands finding your face, tilting your head up to look at him.

  “Are you hurt?” his jaw ticked at his own question, and you shook your head, the warmth of his hands stopping the blind panic you felt threatening to take hold.

  Satisfied that there wasn't any immediate damage, he released your face, hand closing around your arm gently as he led you out the backdoor, shooting Todd one last withering look. Most of the other guests had left, so they didn’t think too much when they saw you being escorted off the property, probably looking a little worse for wear.

  The cool night air allowed you to breathe more easily, and you managed to make it to the driveway of your house before you turned and emptied your stomach in the grass. Castiel rubbed soothing circles into your back while you heaved until you had nothing left in your stomach. You straightened out, and Castiel helped you inside the house.

  You went to the kitchen and poured yourself a glass of water, wincing as you realized you’d dug your nails into your palms so deep you’d left a mark. After rinsing out your mouth, you turned towards Castiel, who was leaning against the island counter, eyes concerned and gauging your body language. You leaned against the sink, closing your eyes tightly and willing your body to relax.

  “Thank you,” you said quietly. Closing your eyes didn’t help. If you closed your eyes, you were back in that place, breath hot and drenched in a coppery smell on your skin, cold hands caressing your exposed flesh.

  “Y/N.” You opened your eyes, meeting the angel’s blue ones now that he stood directly in front of you. He took your hands in his, slowly turning them upwards so he could see the marks your nails had left. His eyes darkened slightly, and with some light pressure the marks were gone. You knew he must have been wondering why you’d let Todd get so close to you, why you hadn’t kicked his ass like you would have had anyone else tried that.

  You swallowed thickly, your eyes stinging as they filled with tears, and a small strangled noise clawed its way out of your throat. Castiel stared at you, brow furrowed with worry, thumbs tracing small circles into the backs of your hands.

  “I’m sorry, I don’t know what happened I just-I couldn’t-I wasn’t-” you tried to explain as you sobbed, feeling absolutely useless. How could you call yourself a hunter if you couldn’t even fend off humans? Castiel wrapped his arms around you, pulling you close to him, and you rested your head against his chest as you cried.

  “You have nothing to apologize for. I’m sorry I wasn’t there sooner,” he said, voice low and soothing. He rested his chin on the top of your head, and with his arms wrapped securely around you, you finally felt calm. You were safe with Castiel. Nothing was going to happen to you so long as he was around.

  You weren’t sure how long you stayed like that, wrapped up in Castiel’s embrace, but you remained that way long after the tears had subsided. You could hear the heartbeat of his vessel as you leaned against his chest, and it lulled you into a calm, peaceful state. It was hard to remember a time when you’d last felt like this, and you couldn’t put a name to the feeling.

  “I started hunting when I was nineteen,” you said suddenly, and you didn’t know why you were telling Castiel any of this. You pulled back slightly and looked up at the angel who was already looking back at you, curiosity shining in those blue orbs. You exhaled shakily.

  “I had a normal life before all of this. I went to school, got good grades. I worried about what college I was going to get into.” You swallowed thickly.

  “But that all changed the summer after my graduation. I was eighteen, naïve, and high on life. I thought I could do anything, and there would be no one to tell me otherwise. And then I met Darcy. He was kind and sweet and meeting him was like a dream…until it wasn’t,” you averted your gaze from Castiel’s as you continued.

  “It wasn’t long after that he showed me his true colors. He took me away from my home, dragged me back to his nest. I was his pet. His food supply, his punching bag, his… _plaything_. He wouldn’t let the rest of his nest go anywhere near me, but that didn’t stop them when he wasn’t around. As long as they didn’t leave a mark, they could get away with it for the most part,” you said, not wanting to go into detail. But the look in Castiel’s eyes told you he got the message.

  “It went on for so long, I was praying each day that it was going to be the day that he got tired of me and disposed of me. It would have been better than that hell. I waited for a day that would never come. And then one day John Winchester stormed in, guns blazing, and rescued me and the other girls that had been taken. He’d given me the rundown of what was really out there in the world, and I vowed I wouldn’t stop hunting until every last nest was gone,” you concluded, feeling like a weight had been lifted from your shoulders.

  You’d never told anyone that story before, only John had known-but even he didn’t know the gory details. Though he’d been able to put it together from what he saw when he first rescued you.

  “You’re strong-being able to do what you do after what you’ve gone through. I know it probably wasn’t easy, but you’re still here, alive and stronger than ever. I admire that courage.” It wasn’t the response you’d been expecting from the angel, but it was the answer you hadn’t realized you needed to hear. Someone to validate that all you’d been doing wasn’t for nothing. A feeling swelled up inside your chest, and you looked up at Castiel, a small smile playing on your lips.

  “Thank you.” You hadn’t been able to name that feeling you’d felt earlier in Castiel’s presence. But now you knew the feeling without a doubt.

  This feeling was what it felt like to be _home_.


	14. Uncover

 

 _“What’s that look for,_ Miette _? I haven’t even shown you the best part yet!” Fangs. Those were-_

  You awoke in a panic, sweat and hair clinging to your skin as you fought hard to control your breathing. Your eyes darted frantically around, trying to gain your bearings. For a moment, fear struck you when you saw you were in a master bedroom, and not some dingy motel. But then you remembered you were on a case, and that everything was fine. You let out a shaky breath, before the sudden churning in your stomach had you stumbling out of the bed and running into the connecting bathroom. You’d barely made it in time before the contents of your stomach wanted out, and you heaved up the little that you had, bile burning the back of your throat.

  You sat back, leaning against the tub as you balled your trembling hands into fists. You squeezed your eyes shut, willing the remnants of your nightmare away. It had been a while since you had dreamt of the time you were held captive in the nest, and you figured the events of the other night had triggered it. You don’t know how long you sat there, trying to steady your breathing, but it felt like hours before you could finally breathe in without a sob threatening to claw its way out.

  Cool hands were placed on the burning skin of your forehead, and instead of soothing you, it caused you to go into another panic, your heart ricocheting off your rib cage as your eyes shot open. The seraph quickly moved his hands away, and crouched down in front of you. You relaxed once you met the calming ocean that his blue orbs held and offered him an apologetic smile.

  “Y/N?” Castiel asked, and the way he said your name was a loaded question. _Are you alright?_ _Did you have a nightmare?_ _Was it about the other night?_ _Are you sick?_ _What can I do?_ All these questions you knew he didn’t want to voice aloud, because he knew that you wouldn’t have been able to answer them without breaking down. And the fact the seraph knew this made you realize you had messed up.

  This was dangerous. Being in that nest had made you realize no one would come to your rescue, no matter how hard you prayed. So everyone around you had been kept at a safe distance, that way you would never depend on another person. But then you’d run into the angel in a trench coat. You’d let Castiel in, let your walls down without realizing. And by the time you’d put them back up-it was too late. The structure you’d built around you was thin, crumbling. A few words from the angel and everything would come tumbling down.

  You patted the tiles beside you, and Castiel got the hint, maneuvering himself to sit down beside you. You leaned into him, resting your head on his shoulder. You closed your eyes, being lulled into a sense of safety by the angel’s presence. Nothing would happen as long as he was with you. And despite your many efforts, you saw yourself beginning to depend on him. The two of you sat in silence, words unspoken that hung in the air as the angel stroked soothing patterns into your hair.

 _Stay. Stay here with me._  

_I’m not going anywhere._

  You found yourself thinking that maybe depending on Castiel wasn’t such a bad thing.

 

 

 

  “Police are saying that the most recent body identified is not one of the many women who disappeared from the Pines,” That was the report you’d heard on the news, and you hadn’t believed it. The person found didn’t even belong to someone from this community? It didn’t make any sense. The monster couldn’t have changed its hunting grounds up in such a brief time period-the body was recent, and Angela had only been missing for a few days. It made you even more confused, as well as annoyed.

  You’d had to find this out through the television that the body wasn’t one of the women from the gated community. The news had learned it from the medical examiner, who was told by a certain hunter to call when any new leads arose. A hunter, who hadn’t even informed you that you _had_ a lead. Your jaw ticked at the thought, and you had the urge to throttle the eldest Winchester. You were currently in the kitchen, cleaning the dishes left from lunch earlier that day. You needed something to do with your hands, so you really wouldn’t seek out the Winchesters and give them a piece of your mind.

  Night had fallen, and the sky was clear. When you looked out the window above the sink, you could see the many stars that lit up the night sky, a silver sliver of the moon hanging low in the sky. Everything seemed peaceful, though you knew better. There was a monster, out in the darkness, past the blackness. It was searching for its next victim, and you hadn’t the faintest idea of what you were hunting.

  You braced yourself against the counter, fists clenched tightly. You hated feeling useless. And that was all you ever felt these days. You’d lost the one lead you had, and you hadn’t been able to narrow down the monster you were hunting. Hell, Sam and Dean didn’t even trust your hunting skills enough to let you in on the leads they had found. You weren’t mad. If anything, you were hurt. Why had they even bothered asking for your help? You seemed to be asking that question every day, and you still hadn’t found the answer.

  The more you thought about the missing women, the harder it was to swallow the lump in your throat.

  “Y/N? Is everything alright?” The angel had impeccable timing. You let out a shaky breath, turning slowly to face the angel. You’d gotten used to the seraph’s lack in understanding of personal space, so you weren’t too surprised to find him directly behind you, head canted to the side, eyebrows furrowed in concern in that way that could always jumpstart your heart.

  “I will be. It’s just, with these missing persons…I don’t know, people going missing is always a bit of a sore spot, I guess,” You offered, and Castiel nodded in understanding.

  “Because it reminds you of yourself?” Castiel said softly, blue orbs that you just _knew_ could see directly into your soul. You shrugged, still trying to get used to the fact that you had opened up to the angel, and he could read you so easily because of it.

  “I know what it’s like for a family to lose someone-how it tears them apart. Their family bond, the peace, the happiness, the laughter, the joy-now with a gaping hole run right through it. All of it, gone in one night. It takes a toll. My mother couldn’t handle my disappearance, and after she was gone my father drowned his sorrows in the bottom of whatever bottle was handy,” you admitted, and Castiel took your hand in his, applying light pressure to offer reassurance.

  You hated talking about your family. Everyone you told was the same. You’d only ever received pitying looks, eyes that offered empty apologies, wishing things had been different. But everyone Castiel was not. There was an unreadable expression on his face, one that you were too afraid to try and decipher. But those ocean orbs were soft, waves of an intense emotion that would sweep you away with the tide if you stared long enough. You looked away, breaking the spell and clearing your throat.

  “My brother was the only one unlucky enough to make it out sane. Left to pick up the pieces of the broken family I’d left behind.” Castiel looked at you sternly.

  “Y/N, that wasn’t your fault. You have to know that,” he said, and you wanted to believe him. Some part of you did. The other part-that was going to take a little more convincing. You didn’t need to voice this aloud, you could see it in Castiel’s soft expression that he already knew. What didn’t the seraph know about you at this point? What more did you have left to give? A few moments of silence passed between the two of you before Castiel spoke.

  “Do you speak to him? Your brother?” You averted your gaze from the angel’s once more, exhaling shakily.

  “He thinks I’m dead,” you said, and seeing the look on Castiel’s face, you elaborated.

  “After John rescued me, he brought me to the hospital and I told them he was my next of kin. I don’t know why I never went back, I guess I’ve just always been afraid. Afraid that if I go back I’ll get him killed.” You’d never said that out loud before, and saying it didn’t make you feel any better about the situation. You weren’t ever able to go back, you’d only seen snippets of your family as they fell apart through the television and news articles you found online. Being associated with the Winchesters had placed a target on your back, and as long as the supernatural world was still out to get them, seeing your brother again would only ever be a hope and a dream.

  “He’s doing well-all things considered,” Castiel said. The angel’s words had you looking up at him sharply, confusion flooding your eyes. What was he on about?

  “What?” You asked, barely above a whisper. Castiel looked sheepish, and it was a look you were unaccustomed to on the angel.

  “I peered into your mind once. You seemed distraught, and I was curious as to what happened to him. He still lives in your old home, and he’s doing quite well for himself. Shortly after I found him, Dean told me it wasn’t right to pry into people’s minds, so I never brought it up.” Your mind was reeling with this newfound information. Castiel had looked into your mind once before, and you wondered just how far he’d pried. But that revelation was quickly drowned out by the feeling of complete relief that swelled up in your chest. You could finally put the question that had gone unanswered for ten years to rest.

  You were at a loss for words. It didn’t seem real. All of these years wondering if he’d been alright, and the angel had known all along. You didn’t blame him for not telling you. Had he tried to let you know what had happened to your younger brother, you would have completely shut him out, and never trusted him.

  “Y/N?” Castiel asked you hesitantly, clearly unnerved by your silence. Your answer was to lunge forward, wrapping your arms tightly around the angel and pulling him into a hug. He seemed caught off guard, as if that hadn’t been the reaction he’d been expecting from you. But he soon returned the embrace, arms wrapping around you as he rest his chin atop your head.

  “He’s alright,” you said, breathless. Being able to say those words out loud, and _know_ that they were true, it was enough to make you want to cry. You held tight to Castiel, trying to convey just how much you appreciated what he had done. You relished in the feeling of being in the angel’s arms, knowing that everything would be alright if he was around. Something you realized you were getting used to feeling around him.

  “Thank you, Castiel,” you said, voice raw with emotion.

  “Of course. I would do anything if it meant your happiness.” Castiel’s admittance was loaded, a myriad of emotions held within in it that you weren’t sure how to pick apart. You pulled back slightly to look up at the angel. But that didn’t mean you weren’t going to try.

  When you looked into Castiel’s eyes, the tidal waves of emotion held within them had your breath catching in your throat. Those cerulean orbs held you in a trance, you could feel an energy pulsing just below the surface of your skin the longer you stared. The air around you was palpable, teeming with barely contained energy that seemed to go into a frenzy as Castiel reached up and cupped the right side of your face with a calloused hand.

  You’d never been one for clichés. But when the angel’s lips pressed against yours, you finally understood those trashy romance novels when they said that sparks flew. It was like something _erupted_ , bursts of energy that danced across your skin as you reached up and tangled your fingers into the angel’s dark locks. It left you breathless, and by the time you pulled away you were gasping for breath.

  The affection Castiel held in his eyes as he regarded you had your heart in your throat. That smile that graced his face was just _unfair_. It had your breath catching, because when had you ever even seen Castiel look at anyone like that? You swallowed upon realizing he probably _hadn’t_. And the knowledge that you had probably been one of the few people to see this expression did weird things to your insides.

  You pulled the seraph back in, lips seeking out his. The intensity of emotion Castiel placed behind the kiss was dizzying, and enough to make your knees weak. This one was more demanding, needier, and the two of you clung to each other like a lifeline, afraid that if you let go the other would disappear. The angel pulled you flush against him, hands finding your waist with a bruising grip.

  “ _Castiel_ ,” you gasped against his lips, pressing yourself closer, a desperation to be close as possible to the angel- _your_ angel-beginning to overtake you. There was raw emotion behind his name, words and emotions unsaid that could be understood through his name alone. You made a noise of surprise as his hands found the backs of your thighs, and as he lifted you up you wrapped your legs around his waist, your back hitting a nearby wall.

  “Y/N,” Castiel groaned out as your hips rolled into his, voice hoarse. His pupils were blown open wide, his Adam’s apple bobbing as he swallowed thickly. His lips found your neck, and your grip on the angel tightened as he nipped and pressed quick kisses against your heated flesh.

  Want, need, happiness, guilt, anger, sadness, trust. Every emotion ever felt between you and the seraph had reached its breaking point in that moment, tidal waves that swept you both up out to sea, into the oncoming storm.

  The first time, you didn’t even make it to the bedroom.


	15. Monster

  “Good morning, Y/N.”

  When you woke, you found that a pair of ocean blue orbs were already staring back at you. You and the angel were a mess of tangled limbs, and you couldn’t tell where he ended, and you began. You sighed, stretching out your aching muscles. You turned as the angel pulled you in close, lips slotting lazily against yours. You hummed softly against the angel’s lips, grinning when he pulled away. You could get used to waking up like this.

  You were content to just lay in bed, to stay in Castiel’s arms the entire day. Laying here like this, you could forget about everything. You could forget about your past, you could forget about hunting, all your worries, you could forget about this case being the only reason you’d ended up ‘married’ to the angel.

  “Beautiful,” Castiel said softly, hands running gently over your body’s curves. Your ears tinged a shade of pink, and you nestled into the angel’s chest, listening to his vessel’s heartbeat. It was steady, the resonance almost put you into a calm, trance-like state. Castiel’s fingertips lulled you into a sense of peace, and you allowed your eyelids to droop shut. That feeling of safety washed over you, and being in the angel's embrace, you didn't doubt it. There was nothing that could change that. It was just you and the angel. No one else.

  Abrupt knocks on the front door had you on alert, the feeling of being dunked in ice-water running through you. It was enough to take you out of the haze that seemed to envelope the room, and you groaned, knowing that-despite your wishes-you were going to have to actually get out of bed. Pressing a quick kiss to the angel’s lips-and then another and a few more-you pulled away and quickly got dressed, throwing on a shirt that wasn’t yours, hopping towards the hallway as you struggled to put on your jeans. You ran your hands through your hair as best as you could, trying to look somewhat presentable as you opened the door.

  “We’ve got a new lead.”

  The Winchesters didn’t even bother flashing their badges this time, and you let them in, closing the door once they entered. You leaned against the door, spotting Castiel walking down the stairs. The two of you made eye contact, a glint in the angel’s orbs as he offered you a small smile. He was dressed in his usual clothes-trench coat, suit and tie, dress shoes and all. It had you furrowing your eyebrows, since it wasn’t the typical clothes you’d grown accustom to him wearing while you worked the case.

  But then you realized the Winchesters had yet to take residence in the living room, and weren’t in their FBI suits. You squinted at them, taking in the flannels and jeans that had replaced them. Their normal hunting gear.

  “What kind of lead?” You asked, voice coming out more accusing then you'd intended. The Winchesters shared a look, and your jaw ticked. That same question you'd been asking came to mind once again. _Why were you on this case?_

  “We think we know where this monster has been hiding,” Dean said, and you crossed your arms over your chest, trying to refrain from clenching your hands into fists. Sam cleared his throat.

  “We don't know for sure, but we figured it was best to check it out. We need you to keep an eye out around here in case our snooping makes it scared and reckless.” Sam was clearly trying to diffuse the argument that he sensed coming, and he had those damn puppy dog eyes set to the max. The younger Winchester didn't know how to play fair. You huffed, dropping your arms at your sides.

  “Fine. Go. But make sure you _call_ if it's there,” you said, shooting Dean a look. He grinned.

  “Will do. Come on Cas, let's get this show on the road.” The Winchesters exited the house, and you tried to push down the frustration that you had with them. You knew they were trying to protect you. But you didn't need protecting.

  “Be careful, okay?” You said to Castiel, catching his attention before he walked out the door. He smiled warmly at you, and it caused your heart to flutter. He pressed a kiss to your lips, and you held in a noise of disappointment when he pulled away.

  “I will.” The Winchesters had left as quickly as they had come, one seraph in tow. You stayed in the hall for a bit, lost in your thoughts.  You got the feeling that Team Free Will knew exactly where the monster’s hideout was, and were just telling you it was a hunch. You grinned to yourself, an idea suddenly forming in your head. You pulled out your phone and dialed a number, and it picked up on the second ring.

  “Y/N?”

  “Hey Cherry, I need a favor.”

 

 

  Since Team Free Will had decided to leave you out of this part of the case, you were going to do a little hunting of your own. Under the guise that you and Cherry were going to have a girl’s day out, you were going back to the bar you’d been at the other night to ask about that guy Gina thought she recognized. You’d taken the liberty to finally ditch the clothes you’d bought for this case, and donned your normal hunting wear. You’d been wearing skirts and heels for the past few weeks, so you took joy being dressed in jeans and boots.

 

[](https://imgur.com/DQ5cU6R)

 

  It was also easier to conceal weapons. Since you weren’t sure what you were going to run into at the bar, you’d tucked both your knife and your gun into your clothing. Hopefully, you wouldn’t have to use them. But you got the feeling if you went to investigate you were going to need them.

  There was a knock at the door, probably Cherry coming to convince you just how bad the idea was. But to your surprise, it was Rob who stood on the porch. The older man smiled at you in greeting.

  “Hello Y/N, is Castiel home?” He asked, and you leaned against the doorframe.

  “No, sorry, he just went out, I don’t know when he’ll be back. What’s up?” Rob rubbed the back of his neck.

  “Oh it’s nothing. I was just going to see if I could get another hand moving some things around. I’m trying to redecorate, figured it would be good for me and the kids,” he explained, and your heart went out to him. You checked the time. You were supposed to meet Cherry in twenty minutes.

  “I can help you, I’m stronger than I look,” you joked, and he chuckled.

  “No, I couldn’t possibly bother you. I’m sure you’re busy,” Rob reasoned.

  “Really, it’s fine. I’d be happy to help,” you said, and he conceded.

  “Alright. If you insist.” You made sure to lock up before you headed out with Rob. You didn’t bother leaving a note; if Castiel and the brothers knew what you were doing while they were investigating a lead they would have an aneurysm. You figured they’d be at least a few hours, so you had time to do some digging before they got wind of what you were doing. You decided you were only going to bring Cherry along, you knew she wasn’t going to rat you out to Castiel.

  “Are the kids out today?” You asked upon entering Rob’s house, hearing a lack of noise coming from inside it. The older man chuckled.

  “Yeah, they both wanted to stay at a friend’s house tonight. I think they just don’t want to be around the house much. I don’t blame them. Without Phoebe this place feels…empty,” Rob said. Your heart wrenched, being reminded of your own family and the fallout of your abduction. Now that Rob had mentioned it, the home did feel…odd. You couldn’t place your finger on it, but something just didn’t seem quite right. Maybe it was the heaviness of knowing someone this family had loved was never coming back.

  “I finished moving around most things, but the furniture in the living room is giving me a tough time. I’m not as young as I used to be,” Rob joked, and you laughed as you took in the living room. There wasn’t really any sense of order among the furniture, everything was strewn about as if a tornado had gone through the room. You could see why Rob was going to ask the seraph for help.

  With two people, it was an easy task to accomplish. With a little bit of effort, you and Rob had most of the furniture moved into its desired place. All that was left was the big sofa that was tipped on its side, a couple of juice stains scattered about from the kids that Rob said he had no idea how to get rid of. You were sorry you didn’t have any tips to offer on how to get juice out of a white couch.

  “Do you want anything to drink? I’m going to grab some water.” You simply nodded, slightly winded from the labor. You huffed out a laugh. Playing housewife had put you out of shape. You were off your game. Dean would have a field day with you when he found out. You shook your head at the thought.

  Rob came back with two glasses of water in hand, and you gladly took the one he offered to you. You gulped down the water, cringing at the bitter taste. Upon seeing your reaction, Rob laughed.

  “Sorry about that; probably should have warned you. The pipes have been a bit funky lately, had someone come in and check but they couldn’t find the problem. To be honest, I just haven’t gotten around to calling them back.” You nodded in understanding, and handed the glass back to him when he held out his hand. You really did feel for the man. He’d lost his wife so suddenly, and was left all alone with his children. Between getting the details of her funeral worked out, his work, and handling the kids all on his own, you were surprised he was doing so well. You didn’t know if you’d be able to be as strong.

  He disappeared back into the kitchen, and you figured you’d get started on the sofa. It groaned as you pushed it forward, and with a heave, you were able to get it upright. There was the sound of something hitting the floor, so faint you almost didn’t hear it. You pushed the sofa out of the way and stepped back, trying to look for the source of the small clink. Something metallic caught your eye, and you crouched down to pick it up.

  It was an earring, probably a missing match to a pair that Phoebe had lost in the couch some time ago. The reminder that she wouldn’t need this earring anymore had your heart wrenching. You examined the earring more, somewhat lost in thought. The more you looked at it, the more it stuck in your mind.

  Why did you recognize this earring? You brushed it off, thinking that it was probably what you’d seen her wearing in the photo you had of her. That’s when you noticed the blood. On the back of the earring, there was blood on the clasp, as if the earring had been ripped out. You furrowed your brows, a sinking feeling beginning to form in your gut.

  “You started without me.” You nearly jumped out of your skin at Rob’s voice, and you quickly stood, pocketing the earring.

  “Sorry, figured I’d at least-” You froze completely once you caught sight of Rob walking into the living room. You cleared your throat, tilting your head to the side, your heart threatening to burst out of your chest.

  “Did uh-did you hurt your leg recently?” You asked, trying to keep the tremor out of your voice. Rob was _limping_. He huffed out a laugh, running a hand through his black hair. _Dark_ hair.

  “This leg’s always given me trouble; but don’t worry, it doesn’t bother me much.” You nodded, a chill running down your spine as you recalled Gina’s words. Your eyes drifted to the couch, and you swallowed hard. Those dark stains weren’t juice. That was _blood_. Your breath caught in your throat as it clicked. You did recognize the earring. But it wasn’t Phoebe’s. It was Angela’s.

  You pulled out your gun, and trained it on Rob. He looked at you, clearly startled, and put his hands up in the air.

  “Y/N, what-”

  “Shut up! What are you?” You shouted, cocking the gun. Your mind was racing. You’d run the tests on everyone you’d come into contact with in the community, and nothing had come up.

  “I have no idea what you’re talking about. Please, put the gun-” he tried to move forward, and you shot the floorboard in front of his feet, stilling his movements. You trained the gun back on him, but he suddenly looked blurry. You blinked rapidly, trying to concentrate. Your vision wouldn’t adjust, and kept going in and out of focus. Your heartbeat was painful against your ribcage, and you stumbled as the world seemed to tip on its axis.

  “What…did you do?” You asked, words slurring together as you blinked, trying to get your vision to focus. Black spots lit up behind your eyes, and you collapsed into a heap on the floor. Rob walked forward, and kicked the gun out of your hand.

  “Now I don’t know what you’re on about, asking _what I am_. But didn't your mother ever teach you not to accept drinks from strangers?” Your head spun as you tried to latch onto a cohesive thought. Rob wasn’t a monster. You tried to pick yourself up off the ground, but your body felt heavy, mind disconnected from your limbs, and you couldn’t get anything to move.

  Sometimes you forgot that humans could be monsters, too.


	16. Faith

  Your head was pounding when you woke, and you blinked rapidly at the light that blinded you that hung from the ceiling. It took a moment for your eyes to adjust, but when they did, you saw that you were in a basement. And then you noticed the smell. It was overpowering, so nauseating it made your eyes water. It smelled like death. You’d been around enough dead corpses in your lifetime to know the smell. The bitter scent of copper was pungent in the air and made you want to gag, you could almost taste it on your tongue.

  You tried to move, and realized you’d been tied to a wooden chair, wrists and ankles tied to the arms and legs. You tested the ropes, but they held fast, allowing no room for you to try and maneuver your way out of them. It would take some time for you to get them loose enough for you to break free, and you weren’t sure how much time you had.

  You cursed yourself for having gotten into this situation. Rob had been the one taking all those women and butchering them beyond recognition. The thought left a sinking feeling in your stomach. The monster had been right under your nose this whole time, and you hadn’t even noticed. Though you suppose, in your defense, Rob wasn’t a monster. At least, not in the sense you were used to dealing with. It left you at a loss as for what to do.

  But you did know one thing; You were next.

  You chided yourself. Why had you not left a note? You should have sent a text to Cherry, at the very least. The knowledge that no one would know where you were left a sinking feeling in your stomach, and you knew Sam and Dean wouldn’t have any idea even where to begin looking, if they still thought they were hunting a monster. You tried hard to swallow the lump in your throat as a wave of nausea rolled over you.

  Being tied up in restraints in this basement was drudging up memories you didn’t want to think about. You could feel phantom breath on your neck, hot liquid pooling at your collarbone and making your stomach lurch.

  You inhaled sharply, blinking rapidly. Now wasn’t the time to be thinking about the past. You needed to focus. Your life depended on it.

  The door to the basement opened suddenly, and you tensed up, heart missing a beat with each thunk of a footstep on the old wooden stairs. They were slow and deliberate, as if they’d taken this path many times before-they probably had. How many missing women had there been?

  Rob came into view after what seemed like an eternity. He still looked the same as he always did, and a turmoil of emotions swelled up inside you. How had you never noticed? All this time you’d been looking for leads, and the leads had been staring you right in the face.

  Out of all the emotions you were feeling at the moment, confusion won out over all of them. Rob had been the one taking the women and butchering them. It just didn’t make sense. You were sure the man you’d run into at the bar was the culprit. Your instincts had never been wrong before. Why hadn’t you been able to figure it out?

  But you didn’t have time to think about everything you should have done. Right now, you needed to focus on how you were going to get out of this chair. You weren’t sure how much time you had before Rob decided he didn’t have any more use for you.

  Images from the multiple crime scenes flashed through your mind, and you shuddered. You didn’t want to end up like the rest of those women. You tugged at the restraints, willing them to loosen. If you could get your leg free, you could reach the knife you’d stowed away in your boot.

  A silence hung heavy in the air as you watched Rob walk straight past you, headed towards something you couldn’t see. You were on high alert, body tense as you listened to every slight sound the older man made.

  The fact he wasn’t saying anything was more unsettling than if he was. You couldn’t see him, but you could hear him shuffling around behind you. There was the squeak of wheels that had long since needed oil, and the clatter of metal. The sound had your heart in your throat and your stomach twisting into knots. It was a sound you were all too familiar with.

  The last time you’d heard it, the angels had butchered you, trying to find Castiel’s whereabouts. At the time, Castiel had started a civil war, trying to prevent Raphael from restarting the apocalypse. You’d blocked most of that memory out, but it was all coming back now.

  You tested the ropes once more, and discovered that in all your struggling you hadn’t even been able to loosen them a fraction. Rob really knew how to tie rope. Another thought had your heart sinking. He’d had a lot of practice.

  “…why?” You found yourself asking before you could stop yourself. When you didn’t receive an immediate answer, you pressed on.

  “Why did you butcher all those women? They were innocent!” You exclaimed, still trying to wrap your head around it all. What did Rob get out of killing all those women? Did he enjoy cutting them up until there was nothing left? Was it out of anger?

  Rob wheeled the cart into view, and you caught the glint of metal that lined the tray, sat atop a white cloth. Your blood turned to ice as he picked up each implement, examining them. You pulled at the ropes around your wrist, skin feeling raw at the amount of effort you used. Nothing. If you kept it up you wouldn’t have any skin left beneath the rope.

  “All you women are the same,” Rob broke the silence, having finally decided on which of the metal objects he liked best. Ice ran through your veins, and you tried push away the wave of panic that washed over you as the reality of the situation hit you. Rob approached you, and you could finally see what he was holding. Pliers.

  “And to think, I thought you were different.” There was no warning. Just the cold bite of metal around your index finger before a sharp pain shot all the way up your arm at the sound of a snap. You felt the metal quickly move to the next finger, and cried out at the next snap. There was another. And another. You thought you’d pass out from the pain at the last snap.

  Rob moved away, placing the pliers back onto the tray, and you spared a glance at your left hand. You wished you hadn’t.

  Could fingers even bend that way? You supposed not, seeing how you could see the bone of one of your knuckles jutting out from the skin, your pinky nearly bent entirely in the other direction. You felt bile rise to the back of your throat, but you forced it down with an audible gulp, tearing your eyes away from your hand. Now was not the time to lose your lunch.

  “Why are you doing this?” You asked, voice wavering. Rob wasn’t much of a talker, and that didn’t bode well for you. He’d done this too many times. He was used to his victim’s helpless cries, their bargaining, their pleads. There probably wasn’t much you could say to throw him off. But if you could get him talking, then you might be able to prolong his process of picking his next implement.

  Your heart sunk as he didn’t answer you, and you heard the metal on the tray shift around as he looked for the next one. You tested the ropes, and hissed in pain as a sharp pain shot through your left hand after you’d accidentally tried to bend your fingers. Your mind was racing. You had to think of something, and fast.

  “Angela. That was her blood upstairs, wasn’t it? Why her? She didn’t do anything. She had a husband, kids, people that loved her. And you ripped her away from it all.” You hoped that by trying to antagonize him, you’d at least get a response and have a few less broken fingers. He turned towards you sharply, wrench in hand, and you tensed.

  “She wasn’t innocent. None of them were,” Rob said, pointing the wrench at you. It was a start. You just hoped that the Winchesters were faster at noticing you missing than they had been at finding leads. Otherwise, you were in trouble.

  “Tell me, Y/N, what do you think makes a marriage?” The older man asked, and you were taken aback by the question. Though you supposed you shouldn’t have been too surprised. Married women seemed to be his MO.

  “I…I don’t know,” you supplied, not wanting to give an answer he didn’t like and possibly losing a finger. Rob began circling you, occasionally dragging the wrench along the wood at the back of the chair. The noise made you jump, body tense and waiting for the pain that was sure to come. The anticipation of the wrench was almost worse than if he were to actually use it.

  “Fidelity. Something that all those women lacked. I did their husbands all a favor. It was only a matter of time before their marriages fell apart.”  Your mind was racing as you tried to process it all. You briefly remembered the women mentioning a landscaper who all them swooned over whenever he did any yard work.

  “I guess Phoebe wasn’t any different then-” You were suddenly struck across the face, and stars lit up behind your eyes as your mouth immediately filled with blood. You’d bitten your tongue, and if the amount of blood pouring into your mouth was any indication, the bite was deep. You turned your head to the side and spat, and Rob gripped your hair and forced you to face him.

  “No! She was _different_! Nothing like the rest of those whores!” He exclaimed angrily. Unable to turn and rid your mouth of copper, blood forced its way past your lips and dripped down your chin and neck. The familiar of feeling of blood flowing down your neck had panic and bile rising within you, but you swallowed down the onslaught of emotions.

  “Then why did you kill her?” You managed to force out around a mouthful of blood. Rob released you rather roughly, stepping back in disgust.

  “I may have killed every unfaithful woman around here, but I _never_ touched her! But when I get my hands on the bastard that did…” He trailed off, and left you in confusion. Rob didn’t kill Phoebe? But Phoebe had been found butchered just like the rest of the bodies. It was then you realized you had been right. Your instincts were never wrong.

  “...where did you bury the women?” You asked, a sinking feeling forming in the pit of your stomach when he glanced towards the walls of the basement. There was a reason this room smelled like death and rotting flesh. You swallowed the lump in your throat at a realization. You’d been hunting the wrong monster, in the wrong place.

  “You’ll be joining the rest shortly.” His statement had you pausing. Rob only killed women that were unfaithful to their husbands. So how did you fit that bill?

  “I never…cheated,” you said, finding it harder to speak around your tongue that felt chewed and raw. Rob shook his head and moved away, the sound of the wrench clunking onto the tray reaching your ears. You were too exhausted to follow him with your eyes. When he reappeared in your line of sight, you saw the glint of a knife in his hand.

  “There’s no point in lying now. I saw you,” Rob explained, and you thought that maybe he didn’t even have motive; he was just crazy. Upon seeing the look on your face, his expression darkened, and he plunged the knife into your right hand. You screamed as he twisted it and the tip of the knife came jutting out, cutting clean through your hand. You gritted your teeth, trying to push down the noise bubbling up in your throat.

  “I’m _not_ crazy, you whore! I saw you with that scumbag Todd!” He shouted, black spots dotting your vision as he yanks the knife out, and blood came gushing out of the gaping wound. You were in shock. _That_ was the reason you found yourself in this predicament? Because Cherry’s douchebag of a husband tried to hit on you? The thought infuriated you, and you opened your mouth before you had time to think.

  “Get your eyes checked, asshole. I never cheated.” You saw something flit through his eyes, and you realized a moment too late that you had crossed a line. You tried to backpedal as he advanced forward.

  “Wait, Rob, I didn’t mean-” You screamed as you felt the knife dig deep, hitting your collarbone as he twisted and pulled at the knife. The pain was excruciating, and it took what was left of your strength to hold onto your consciousness.

  “I. Saw. You.” He bit out every word as he continued to carve into your flesh. After what seemed like an eternity, you felt the knife leave your skin, and Rob stepped back, seemingly admiring his work. Satisfied, he walked back over to his cart of tools and dropped the bloody knife onto the tray. You were barely holding on, weak from pain and blood loss, but you wanted to get your point across. You weren’t about to be killed over a misunderstanding.

  “Let me go. I _never_ cheated,” you said, though it came out with less conviction in your current state. Rob shook his head, casting one last glance at you before heading up the stairs.

  “I’ll come back when your ready to own up to your sins.” You heard his footsteps heavy on the stairs, and the sound of the basement door slamming shut. Since it seemed he wouldn’t be coming back anytime soon, you allowed yourself to sag back against the chair, the fight draining out of you with every breath you struggled to pull in.

  You faded in and out of consciousness-you were almost numb to the pain-and your skin felt like it was on fire, every muscle in your body protesting and screaming at the slightest movement. At some point, you’d been gagged, and you could hear the sound of children running and shouting with laughter upstairs.

 _Castiel._ Despite your current state, those blue eyes that held the ocean would swim to the edge of your consciousness, and you had a hard time discerning reality from your dream-like state. Sometimes you could hear the seraph calling your name, could feel his caress on your face. And for a moment, you would feel safe.

  But then pain would bloom up from your neck, and you knew whatever Rob had carved there would become infected if it didn’t get treated soon. You were unsure of how long you’d been there, a haze clouding over your mind. Had you been drugged again? Every now and then you would tug uselessly at your restraints, knowing nothing would come of it. The room constantly spun, and you had a hard time latching onto a cohesive thought. You felt like you were floating through oblivion, ready to disappear without a trace. The only thing that kept you from doing so were those cerulean eyes.

  The feeling of ice water being dumped on top of you brought you back to consciousness, and the sudden shivering of your body as it tried to adapt to the drastic change in temperatures told you that you weren’t imagining this.

  You pried your eyes open with some effort, blinking away the water as Rob came into focus, a now empty bucket in his hand.

  “This could all be over if you would just own up to your infidelity,” the older man said, a frown etched into his face. You shook your head, and his features contorted in anger.

  “Listen you b-”

  The doorbell rung loudly throughout the home, and your heart dipped. If you could just get the gag off your mouth, you could call for help. You struggled against your bonds, noticing that in all your struggling they had become significantly looser. You stopped moving at the cool bite of a blade pressed to your throat.

  “Not a sound or I’ll slit your throat,” Rob said in a dangerously low voice. You simply nodded, but he didn’t move the knife.

  “Mr. Hart?”

  “FBI. We just have a few follow-up questions for you.” Your eyes widened. The voices were muffled from all the way in the basement, but you knew those voices nonetheless. The Winchester brothers were at the door.

  “Not a word,” Rob reminded you, and he removed the knife from your throat, turning his back to head up the stairs. It was the opportunity you’d been waiting for. With all the strength you could muster, you threw yourself to the ground, the chair splintering beneath you. In seconds, your hands were free.

  “What-?” Rob spun back around, and you were out of time. You quickly scrambled up from the wreckage of the chair, grabbing one of the broken legs with your “good” hand and slamming it against his head as hard as you could. He crumpled to the floor, and you tossed the leg aside, booking it towards the stairs.

  Rob caught your ankle halfway up the stairs, and you couldn’t kick him free. He yanked you back down, and stars lit up behind your eyes as your head collided with the stairs as you tumbled down them. You groaned, trying to get back up, but he was already there straddling you, hands wrapped around your neck.

  “You bitch!” You gasped as his grip tightened, and you couldn’t breathe. You struggled underneath him, head spinning as you tried to wrench his fingers from your throat. But with one hand mangled and the other one badly injured, there was only so much you could do.

  Black spots dotted your vision as it went in and out of focus, your lungs screaming at you for air. You struggled underneath him, but you couldn’t get yourself free. Your head was spinning, and you felt lightheaded. You were panicking, and that didn’t help the situation. It made you lose your breath faster. Sam and Dean were there, on the other side of the door, but they had no idea you were down here. Was this how it ended for you? The sudden thought renewed your strength. You didn’t want to die like this.

  With your newfound strength, you reached up and latched onto Rob’s arms, bringing your knees up and rolling the two of you into a backwards somersault. The pain from using your mangled-up hand made sparks light up behind your eyes, but you held tight. The momentum made his grip on your neck loosen, and you gasped for air. You wrenched yourself free, and scrambled away.

  You staggered towards the table full of Rob’s torturing tools and grabbed the wrench. You spun around swinging, just in time to catch him in the face as he advanced towards you. He fell to the ground, trying to crawl away from you. As you went to swing again, your mind registered a click, and then a searing pain ripped through your abdomen.

  You looked towards Rob, and saw him holding a gun. _Your_ gun. You put a hand to your stomach, and it came back covered in blood. _Your_ blood. The door to the basement was kicked open, and the ground rose to meet you as your world went dark.


	17. Reality

   At first, you thought you were dead. Everything was white, and you couldn’t gain your bearings. But then the pain registered. Pain. There was so much pain, it felt like lava was running through your veins. It hurt to exist.

  Slowly, your senses came back to you one by one. The smell of disinfectant soap and bleach clogged your nose, along with the scent of copper. Your mouth felt cottony and raw, dry and caked in dried-up blood. You could hear an incessant beeping, and realized you were in a hospital. There was the sound of concerned, muffled voices somewhere close to you, and you could hardly make out what they were saying.

  “-should have told her-”

  “-our fault-”

  “-heal her-”

  “-have questions-”

  It took you a moment, but eventually you were able to open your eyes. A few more seconds and your eyes were able to adjust, rapidly blinking at the bright light that was above you. Your eyes darted around the room, landing on a pair of cerulean orbs that held tidal waves within them.

  “Hey,” you said, offering a small smile as best you could.

  “How are you feeling?” The seraph asked, and you wanted to know if he was serious. But the genuine concern in his eyes melted your heart and made you hold your tongue.

  “Been better,” was what you finally settled on, and it was then you wondered why you were in a hospital in the first place. Granted, you didn’t want to rely on the angel for every injury you ever received, but this seemed like it would certainly be an exception. Seeing the question in your eyes, the angel gestured towards the door.

  “As much as I wanted to smite that…” he trailed off, jaw ticked with a storm trapped in those cerulean eyes, “Sam suggested that since this wasn’t a normal case, we do this by the book-their book.” You were confused by what he meant, but a knock on the door kept him from elaborating.

  A man who looked to be in his mid-30’s stood in the doorway. Dirty blonde hair sat slicked back atop his head, and he donned a 5’o clock shadow, as well as blue bloodshot eyes. He looked like he hadn’t slept in years.

  “Mrs. Winchester?” He inquired. Dean had decided you and Castiel would take their last name for your cover, and you hadn’t found it humorous until this moment. You could only imagine how more of a hassle the brothers would be if you were actually related.

  “Y/N’s just fine,” you replied, corner of your lip twitching up in amusement. Nothing stood out to you in particular about the man, save for the very authentic-looking badge draped around his neck.

  “Okay, Y/N. I’m Detective Simons, mind if I ask you a few questions?” You nodded, and the seraph’s hand found yours. He shot you a reassuring smile, but it didn’t quite reach his eyes. You furrowed your brows in confusion.

  “Castiel, what’s wrong?” You said quietly, very aware of the other presence in the room. The angel seemed startled by your question, like he didn’t think you’d notice that something _had_ been wrong. You may have just been beaten to all hell and shot, but you’d be damned if you didn’t notice that something was wrong with your angel. _Your angel_. You liked the sound of that.

  “I’ll…tell them you’re awake,” was all he offered to you before he rose from his chair, quickly making his way past the detective and disappearing from the room. You blinked. What was that all about? You made a note to ask about it later, when you didn’t have an audience. The detective took the seat Castiel had left vacant, eyes not quite like the ocean that examined your face.

  “Can you tell me what happened?” After a few moments of trying to find the right words, you found yourself going through the motions, running through the events that had led up to you ending up in Rob’s basement. You told him about the rest of the missing women in the basement, how he’d killed every woman he thought cheated on their husband, how he’d targeted you by mistake.

  You didn’t particularly enjoy going over the bit where he broke all your fingers or carved you up. Though you’d discovered exactly what that bastard had cut into your flesh. It was Castiel’s _name_. As if he was telling you who you belonged to. The irony of it all had you wondering if you wanted to laugh or cry-maybe both.

  You also discovered you’d been in that bastard’s basement for _five_ days. You had been right in suspecting the brothers had no idea where to even begin looking for you. You supposed in their search for you they’d gotten frantic enough to revisit all of the victims, and got lucky. The thought that they’d found you by _chance_ didn’t sit all too well with you. What if they hadn’t found you in time?

  After getting your statement and asking you a few questions, the detective thanked you, and was on his way, leaving his name and number if you had any further questions. Once the detective left you to your own devices, you had time to assess the extent of the damage Rob had done. You felt your cheek, and winced, feeling the swollen flesh beneath your fingers.

  The two hulking figures of the Winchester brothers entered the room, faces full of guilt. You rolled your eyes as they hesitated in the doorway.

  “Will you two stop looking like kicked puppies and get in here already?” You said, and they came to stand at the side of your bed.

  “Y/N, I’m sorry. We should have told you. We thought there might have been two cases going on-but we didn’t want you going off on your own,” Dean said, and you shot him a look. Sam cleared his throat, clearly sensing the argument you had coming.

  “We were just worried. Last time you went on a hunt without us that strayed from vampires, we found you half-alive in a motel bathroom,” Sam explained, and you couldn’t refute him. You’d also been about to go out on your own for this case. Granted, Rob had come knocking at your door, but the point remained the same. You sighed.

  “So what was it? I know that guy I ran into the bar was the monster,” you asked, and the brothers conceded.

  “Stymphalian bird,” Dean offered, and you raised your eyebrows. You’d heard Bobby mention a case he did on one. They were like shapeshifters, in a way. Only, instead of taking on a human’s looks, they turned into giant, ugly birds with a beak and feathers made entirely of bronze. Now that you knew what the monster was, the crime photos made more sense. You shuddered at the thought of one of those things launching its feathers at someone.

  “How the hell did you get a weapon dipped in hydra blood?” You asked, recalling that Bobby had told you the only way he’d been able to kill it was sending it through a woodchipper. Dean made a face.

  “You’d be surprised what’s laying in the basement of the bunker.” Guess that answered the question of why it took so long for them to find you.

  “I’m just glad you guys found me. Thanks for saving me-again,” You said, and they both chuckled.

  “It’s what we do best,” Dean said, grin plastered on his face, before he and Sam were ushered out of the room by the doctor.

  To keep up pretenses, you remained in the hospital for two more days. As much as it pained you, Castiel couldn’t just heal you without raising any suspicion should anyone see you exiting the hospital looking like you hadn’t been shot.

  During those two days, Castiel never left your side. His presence was warm, calming, and those blue orbs made you feel safe. The two of you didn’t really have much to say-though you’d make an occasional joke and he would chuckle-but that didn’t bother you. You were perfectly comfortable just existing in his presence, and while you read books Sam had snagged from a nearby bookstore, the seraph simply watched over you.

  You knew there was still something on his mind-though he hid it better now-and you’d been waiting for the right opportunity to ask him about it. Dean had dropped by earlier with coffee and a greasy bacon cheeseburger-you didn’t mind, considering the food the hospital had to offer. But he departed as soon as he arrived, going back to the motel to get some much-needed sleep.

  It wasn’t long after this that Cherry had arrived, and Castiel finally left your side to give you privacy. Team Free Will had decided that since you had integrated yourself so well into the community, you and Castiel couldn’t just up and vanish without a trace. So you’d decided on telling half-truths. You told her you and Castiel were FBI agents sent undercover to investigate the disappearances, but that wasn’t what shocked her the most.

  “Wait-so you guys aren’t married?!” She asked incredulously, and you let out a small laugh.

  “No. We’re just partners.” Another half-truth. Though you felt less guilty about telling the blonde this since it regarded your hunting life. Cherry pouted in the chair beside your bed, crossing her arms over her chest.

  “You’re not even dating?” She asked hopefully, and you shook your head. She shot you a look.

  “Well there’s no way you could manage to pull that off as well as you did if you guys didn’t have feelings for each other,” She argued, and you found it hard to refute her.

  “It’s…complicated,” you supplied, a large pang in your chest. Cherry raised an eyebrow skeptically, but upon seeing the look on your face, her expression softened. She placed her hand on yours, brown eyes filled with warmth.

  “I still stand by what I said. There is nothing you could do that would turn him away. What you guys have-it’s real. So stop moping about and go get him already!” She exclaimed, hitting your leg playfully. You chuckled, though deep down you knew you had already started to close yourself off from the angel once more. After giving you one of your fake business cards and many promises to keep her posted, she said her goodbyes, and you were left to face reality.

  Once you got out of the hospital, you’d be back on the road, hunting down vamp nests, the Winchesters headed in the opposite direction kicking up biblical storms. And they would disappear from your life. You would hunt, drink, sleep, and repeat. Months of radio silence from the Winchesters until they remembered to tell you they were still alive. And you’d spend sleepless nights thinking about those cerulean orbs, imagining what could never be.

  At least-that’s what you’d been expecting. What you hadn’t expected was for Dean and Sam to insist you came back with them to the bunker. Being tied down made you uneasy, but Dean was persistent.

  “Since you have a habit of not checking in, you aren’t leaving our sight for the next few months,” Dean had said, and you reminded him that you shared similar habits. You thought Sam would be the more reasonable one, but he had taken Dean’s side.

  “I know you want to be out on you own, but there isn’t a safer place to be than the bunker. We’d just feel better having you around.” Sam had reasoned. Despite your reservations, you knew there was no point in arguing with them once they made up their minds. So you kept your mouth shut.

  And that was how you ended up in the backseat of the Impala, Dean blasting Metallica with the windows rolled down as you sped down winding roads.    Castiel had healed your wounds, and he sat beside you in the backseat, looking out the window on his side. Occasionally, his blue eyes would glance over at you, and your heart would leap to your throat.

  Trying to suppress your emotions was going to be a lot harder than you had originally thought.


	18. Midnight

   _“Look what we have here boys! it’s a hunter!”_

_-Your eyes darted towards the gruff man clad in a leather jacket that was thrown into the room-_

_-Something clattered across the floor, bumping into your foot. It was cold, long, sharp, and metallic-_

_-His laughter echoed, and the other two joined-_

_-You eyed the object at your feet-_

_-It was a weapon-_

_-You reached for it-_

  Nightmares were never fun. Especially when they were about your past. You’d woken up in a cold sweat, stumbled out of your bedroom and-after taking a few wrong turns-barely made it in time when the first wave of nausea hit you.

  After rinsing out your mouth and brushing your teeth, you wandered through the halls, deciding you weren’t ready to go back to sleep _just_ yet. Despite being dressed in a long sleeve shirt and sweatpants, you still found the bunker to be chilly during the night.

 

[ ](https://imgur.com/gAmNzcy)

 

  The bunker was surprisingly spacious, despite its outward appearance. Dean was like a kid showing you his toys when he’d given you the tour. You chuckled to yourself. Though after being shown the war room, the library, the garage-you had eyed a 1969 Dodge Charger that Dean said was all yours-you could see why. It had the potential to be a home. _Your_ home. You tried not to dwell on it.

  “Y/N?” You ended up in the library when you finally dragged yourself out of your thoughts. You had been expecting everyone to be asleep. But then you remembered those cerulean orbs didn’t need sleep.

  “Hey Cas,” you said, smiling softly as you made your way over to the angel, wanting- _needing_ -to be in his presence. The nightmare still lingered, clung to your skin like a layer of grime that refused to go away after a particularly gruesome hunt. He’d been sitting down at one of the tables, a mug of steaming liquid in his hands. You sat down across from him, shooting him a questioning look.

  “Thought angels couldn’t taste?” You asked, and the tips of the seraph’s angels turned pink as he donned a sheepish expression. You blinked, not at all expecting that reaction.

  “It is-uh…not for me,” Castiel explained, clearing his throat as he slid it over to you. You glanced down at the honey-colored liquid that sloshed around inside the ceramic. You noticed then it was the black mug with gold cat ears you'd gotten for yourself once you realized you'd be here with the Winchesters for some time.

  “What is it?” You asked, E/C orbs meeting his.

  “I read that valerian tea helps to reduce anxiety and insomnia,” he replied, averting his gaze all the while melting your heart. As much as you tried to close yourself off to him, he could still see right through you. A wave of emotions swelled up in your chest as you picked up the mug.

  “Thank you,” you said, taking a sip. It was still hot. The angel obviously hadn’t been out here for long. Had he been anticipating you coming out here? Seeing the look on your face, he elaborated.

  “I heard you getting up around this time each night-I hope you don’t mind,” he said, and your heart leapt to your throat. Usually when you woke up you forced yourself to go back to your room and sleep. Had he waited up every night in case you decided you didn’t want sleep? The thought wreaked havoc on your insides, and you smiled at him.

  “I don’t mind at all Cas.” After a few moments of comfortable silence passed between the two of you, it occurred to you that this was an opportune time to ask him what had been on his mind.

  “Castiel, you never answered me. Earlier in the hospital, when I asked you what was wrong.” A few beats of silence went by, and you wondered if he was going to answer you. You opened your mouth to say you didn’t need to know, but he spoke up.

  “It was… _difficult_. Those five days we couldn’t find you. I could hardly focus on anything. I was afraid that we wouldn’t be able to find you in time. I’d never felt so helpless. And when we did find you, I was reminded of when Raphael's followers had tortured you-another time I hadn’t been able to save you. I just…keep thinking about how when it comes down to it, I can’t help you. I believe the word you’d use is _useless_ ,” Castiel finished, voice raw with emotion.

  Your mind was reeling. _That_ was what he’d been thinking about all this time? There was a pang in your chest at the thought that he believed it. You leveled your gaze with him.

  “Castiel, don’t you _ever_ think for a second that you’re useless. You’ve helped Sam and Dean countless numbers of times. You’ve helped _me_ more times than I'll ever admit. I don’t care that you can’t zap in and save the day. Cas, you help me just by _existing_ ,” you said, the tips of your ears turning a deep shade of pink. You hadn’t meant to say that last part out loud, but it was too late now. The seraph looked to be deep in thought, contemplating your words. His brows were furrowed slightly in that way you found absolutely adorable.

  “Thank you, Y/N.” The angel had smiled brightly then, and you lost your breath. You had a flash of when you and the angel had been undercover, but you tried to stamp the memory down, parting ways with Cas once you’d finished your tea.

  From then on, every night you couldn’t go back to sleep-which happened more than you wanted to admit-you found yourself in the library with Cas at midnight, just enjoying the other’s presence. Though after one particularly brutal nightmare, the angel had questions.

  "I heard it helps-talking about things," he said tentatively, his blue orbs darting between your own and the library table. You sighed, gripping the mug in your hands. He had a point. Lord knows you'd been bottling everything up and letting it fester for most of your hunting career. It came with the job description. But seeing the angel looking at you with those hopeful, wide eyes, you couldn't help but concede.

  "Being in that barn...I thought I was in hell. Or at least, I'd wanted to be. Anything was better than that place," you said shakily, fighting off the chill that crept down your spine. Castiel gently placed a hand over yours, and it helped placate the oncoming tidal wave of emotions.

  "In the beginning, there were five of us. Most would get cycled out-the ones who couldn't take a beating, lost too much blood," you swallowed thickly, "or the ones that fought. I'd lost count of how many girls I watched those bastards go through. The only reason I lived longer than most was because Darcy liked having a  _pet_." Something sparked in the seraph's eyes at your words, and despite everything inside you wanting to shove away the memories and forget about everything, you pressed on.

  " _W_ _ill I die today?_ _Is it finally my turn?_ There hadn't been a day when I hadn't thought those things-it was the only hope I held onto; that one day the suffering would end," your eyes stung as you blinked back the tears, refusing to cry. You hated thinking about being back in that nest; back when you were weak and incapable of being able to save yourself.

  "I hunt vampires so adamantly, because I know what it's like, living in constant fear, not knowing when you will take your last breath. I save them like the person I'd hoped would save me."

 

 

 

 

  It had been almost two weeks, and you were still trying to adjust to the bunker. As big as it was, it was still underground, and though you knew you could leave at any time, you felt trapped. It had been harder to hide your fear of confinement from Sam and Dean in such close proximity, and you’d succeeded for the first few days. But then they’d caught you puking your guts out one morning before breakfast, and they wanted answers.

  “Long story?” You offered as you sat at the kitchen table, Dean and Sam sitting across from you, arms crossed over their chests. They looked like two fathers who’d just caught their teenage daughter coming back from a night out. You were going to try to find an excuse out of this, but the looks they were giving you told you that was not going to be the case. You sighed, gripping your mug of coffee tightly.

  “I…don’t do well staying in the same place for long periods of time. It reminds me too much of when I was eighteen. I got kidnapped by vampires and they used me as their blood bag for nearly a year,” you explained. At least, that was the reason you had been telling yourself these past ten years. The brothers’ gazes immediately softened, eyes apologetic.

  “Is that why you only hunt vampires?” Sam asked softly, puppy-dog eyes zeroing in on you. You knew both of them were recalling every memory they had where you’d gotten defensive when they’d asked anything related to the cases you worked. You nodded.

  “John was the one who saved me-got me into hunting.” They seemed less shocked by this information since you’d been pretty close to him. He’d even confided in you about Adam in your earlier hunting days. The trust had to have come from somewhere. He saved you, and you saved him. Dean uncrossed his arms, shooting you a grin.

  “Well you don’t have to worry about staying here any longer. We’ve got a case.”


	19. No

  While you were undercover, you’d gotten into the habit of waking up early and running with Cherry and the others. As annoying as the habit was, you couldn’t shake it. And that was how you ended up joining Sam on his morning runs. The two of you didn’t really talk much-there wasn’t much to say-just enjoyed the scenery that passed you by as you ran along a worn-down path in the woods surrounding the bunker.

  “Have you told Cas you’re in love with him yet?” The younger Winchester’s words had you stumbling to catch yourself. You halted your steps, trying to catch your breath.

  “What?” You tried to pretend the overzealous beating of your heart was due to the cardio. Sam stopped beside you, towering over you. He shrugged.

  “Last time you said you’d talk to Cas. But based on the way you’ve been avoiding him, I’m assuming you didn’t.” You huffed. So much for the peace and quiet.

  “I’m not going to,” you explained, finally giving up on ignoring the reason you hadn’t talked to the angel yet.

  You were in love with Castiel. So deeply, irrevocably in love with him and those cerulean eyes that had swept you up in a tidal wave and had yet set you free. The desire to be with him, cherish him, hold him, and keep him all to yourself consumed every fiber of your being. He was a beacon of light in a world shrouded in darkness. He was warm, comforting, strong, and safe. He was _hom_ e. By his side was a place you’d always want to return to.

  “Why not? Dean and I-” You groaned, cutting him off.

  “You didn’t! Tell me you didn’t tell Dean!” You said, and Sam gave you a sheepish look, which in turn caused you to release another groan. You dragged a hand over your face.

  “I swear to Christ if Dean tries to play matchmaker I’m cutting your hair in your sleep!” You said, and Sam raised his hands in surrender.

  “Alright alright, I’ll keep Dean at bay as best I can. But seriously Y/N, why don’t you just tell him?” Sam asked, genuinely curious. You sighed, and started running again, the younger Winchester matching pace.

  “Because I can’t. In this life, having something you cherish makes it all the more likely you’ll have it ripped away,” You explained, and Sam set his mouth into a grim line, unable to refute you. He knew the best out of anyone exactly what you meant.

  “Doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try,” Sam said after a long moment of silence passed between the two of you. You had nothing else left to carry on the argument with, so you remained quiet for the rest of the run.

  By the time the two of you got back to the bunker, the sun was high in the sky, a clear sea of blue that made for a perfect day to go out-not that you’d be free to do anything anyways.

  When you walked into the kitchen to grab a water, you saw that Dean had finally crawled out of bed, a large pile of bacon in front of him and a mug of coffee in his hand. When he saw you, he squinted, taking a sip of his coffee.

  “I’ll never understand how you can enjoy mornings,” the older hunter grumbled, and you laughed, making your way past him and dodging out of the way as you snagged a piece of bacon from his plate.

  “You should try it sometime, some exercise would do you good,” You said, giving a pointed look at the pile of bacon sat in front of him. He groaned, throwing his head back.

  “Not you too! I already hear enough of it from Sam,” Dean said, and you let out another laugh as you exited the kitchen.

  “Maybe it’s because he’s got a point!” You called over your shoulder, to which the elder Winchester gave a half-hearted response.

 

 

 

  The smell of formaldehyde lingered heavily in the air, along with a musty smell that told you fresh air hadn’t properly graced this room in decades. You really hated morgues. Shortly after arriving in town, the brothers sent you and Castiel to the morgue to inspect the bodies. You didn’t mind, but you weren’t too fond of dressing up. You can’t imagine an actual FBI agent wearing this during work, but this outfit got most of your questions answered.

 

[ ](https://imgur.com/N0qiWtA)

 

  “Was there anything strange you noticed during the autopsy?” You asked the coroner stood in front of Henry Kelling, the latest victim of the monster you were hunting.

  “The victim was drained completely of blood. Based on the wound in his neck, he died of blood loss. Whoever did this to him must have taken his blood and used it for some sort of ritual,” the coroner explained. _Or for food_ , you thought. You examined the body on the table, no visible sign of anything out of the ordinary.

  “Oh, there was one other thing. There were traces of poison in his skin, but nothing I could identify. It might have been used as a sedative.” It wasn’t much to go on, but it was something. After talking more with the coroner, you left the morgue, headed to meet up with Castiel. Since he was still a little rusty when it came to playing FBI, you figured it’d be better for him to wait outside for you.

  “Find anything?” He asked once you caught up with him. You tugged your H/C locks out of its annoyingly tight ponytail, running your hands through them to make your hair look somewhat presentable.

  “Just that the recent vic was drained of blood. Definitely not a vampire-too clean,” you offered, having dealt with many vampires in your time as a hunter. Besides, too many victims were showing in such a short time span. You shuddered. You knew that vampires liked to keep their victims as long as possible.

  “There was also trace of poison. It doesn’t narrow down the list too much, but it’s a start.” Castiel nodded in agreement.

  “Let’s hope Sam and Dean are doing better on their end,” the angel said as you to headed towards the nearest diner, a place you all-Dean-decided you’d meet up. The brothers had gone to question the families of the victims, see if there was any common connection between all of them that could lead you to the monster.

  All things considered, you were just glad to be out of the bunker. Remaining cooped up for days on end wasn’t doing you any good. You were a bundle of nerves that you had a hard time containing. You needed to take action, do something. Preferably lob off a vamp’s head, but you’d take what you could get.

  Once you and Castiel reached the diner, you spotted the sign out front that claimed they had the best pie in the state. You rolled your eyes.

  “Dean really knows how to pick ‘em,” You observed, recalling that many of the diners you’d stopped at with the Winchesters had signs claiming their pie was the best. You imagined Dean could probably make a chart-if he didn’t already have one-on who had the best pies around the country. The thought made you chuckle.

  You were brought out of your thoughts when Castiel caught your wrist, stopping you from entering the establishment. The serious look in his eyes had your stomach doing a weird flop, and you got the feeling this wasn’t about the case.

  “Are we ever going to talk about it?” He asked, eyes boring into yours as an ocean swept over your soul. It took a few moments of encouragement for you to start breathing normally again. You wanted to ask what he meant, feign ignorance, but you knew exactly what he was talking about.

  “Cas we were only pretending to be in a relationship,” you explained, despite the fact your own words ripped through your heart like a serrated knife.

  “I would not mind if we weren’t pretending,” the seraph said, voice unwavering. Your heart nearly shot out of your mouth as you thought about the implication of those words. God, how you’d love that. Castiel was your home, you found in him what you could never find in anyone else. He made you feel _safe_. And that was something you rarely felt in the past ten years.

  The angel made you feel things, want things you hadn’t ever dared to hope for. You were a hunter. There was a limit to the things you could ever have in this life. And as much as it pained you-whatever you and Castiel had between you-you had to stamp it down before you both got too carried away.

  “Castiel…we could never have a future together. We wouldn’t be able to have kids,” You reasoned, all too familiar with the many Nephilim cases you’d heard about from the Winchesters. The Angels would never make an exception. Besides, the hunting life was no place for a child.

  Castiel’s expression softened, and he traced his thumb lightly on the back of your hand, holding your gaze steadily.

  “You are all I would ever need, Y/N.” He said softly, the ocean in his eyes holding you captive so that you knew how serious he was about this. Your heart nearly stopped dead. How could you refute that? Castiel was offering you something you had always craved deep down, something you knew was foolish to try for. And that scared you.

  “Cas, I’m a hunter. I do my own thing, and I never stay in one place. And you have Sam and Dean. They need you more than I do. When was the last time Team Free Will wasn’t off saving the world?” You asked. Castiel opened his mouth to respond, but the sound of Dean calling your name took you both out of the moment you were having. You glanced over, and the eldest Winchester waved at the two of you with a smirk as he and Sam entered the diner.

  “Let’s talk about this later, okay? We’ve got a monster to hunt.” His blue eyes bore into yours, head tilted to the side with an adorable frown that let you know he had more to say. But he pressed his lips into a thin line and simply nodded. You nodded back in thanks, and the two of you headed into the diner to join the Winchester brothers.

  You found them in a booth near the back, and you slid in beside Sam, Castiel sitting next to Dean. Dean shot you a questioning look, lips turned up in a smirk, but one warning look shot at the elder Winchester had him raising his hands in surrender. After placing your orders, the four of you got down to business.

   “The coroner said the latest victim was drained of blood, and there wasn’t much else that stood out. You guys find anything?” You asked hopefully. Dean shook his head.

  “There wasn’t much they could help us with. None of the victims knew each other, and none of them were employed by the same people. Doesn’t seem like this son of a bitch is targeting people in any sort of pattern,” the eldest hunter explained, and you sighed. You really hoped that wasn’t the case

  “Four people have gone missing so far, and three of them were found dead. But get this-two of the victims were found with their insides turned to jelly,” Sam explained to you as he scrolled through medical records on his tablet. You furrowed your eyebrows at the new information.

  “But that doesn’t make any sense. The recent vic was only missing his blood, he didn’t have liquids for insides,” you voiced your confusion.

  “Well, either way, it looks like all signs point to a Djinn,” Sam said, looking over the case files he’d pulled up. You peered over his shoulder, looking at all the pictures of the victims. In some of the photos, you could clearly make out a blue handprint that had been left behind. On others, there were puncture marks.

  “The real question is which kind?” You asked, knowing that between the two types of Djinn, you’d much rather have the one that sent you to your happy place than the one that made you relive your worst fears. You had yet to actually hunt a Djinn, but from the stories you’d heard they weren’t monsters to be taken lightly. Sam sighed heavily.

  “Based on the most recent vic, I think it’s safe to say we’re dealing with the Djinn that feeds off blood. Since the latest victim and the last victim were found months apart, it’s possible there were two different Djinn,” the younger hunter concluded.

  “So you’re saying one Djinn moved on and another took it’s place?” You asked skeptically. And though it seemed highly unlikely, it wasn’t out of the realm of possibility. Dean dug sloppily into the burger the waitress had put in front of him moments ago, and you and Sam both shot each other a grossed-out look.

  “Well let’s find some ruins and gank this son of a bitch.”


	20. Fear

  You crept through the abandoned warehouse, trying to move as quietly as possible. You knew there was only one Djinn, but if it got the jump on you it would put you right back to square one. You gripped your flashlight and gun tightly in your hand. You hoped the silver bullets would slow down the Djinn long enough for you to stab it with the knife tucked in your boot. You hadn’t particularly enjoyed dipping it in lamb’s blood. Why couldn’t it have been a nest? Vampires were far less complicated.

  Where were Sam and Dean? Despite having traveled through most of the warehouse, you had yet to run across the Winchesters. Whether that was a good sign or not, you weren’t sure. They did have the annoying tendency to charge in ahead of you with no prior warning. As you rounded the corner, you halted in your tracks.

  A short distance away from where you stood was a girl sprawled out on the floor with a mop of tight black curls and bronze skin. You quickly recognized her as Tanya Harding, the teen who’d recently gone missing. There was an IV drip beside her, full of blood. You approached quickly and checked her pulse. She was alive. At the sound of muttering, you started, standing and whipping your flashlight around the room.

  Your light shone on a figure in the middle of the room, chained to a support beam. Their face was badly battered and bruised, and from this distance, you couldn’t tell who it was. They put up a fight before the Djinn got to them. You quickly realized, eyes widening as you took in the figure’s trench coat, that it was Castiel. You surged forward, examining the angel for any serious injuries. He was unconscious, but breathing.

  You peered over your shoulder, eyes searching the darkness. The Djinn couldn’t have been far. And that meant that you had to move quickly to get the angel and Tanya out of there.

  “Cas? Castiel! Can you hear me?” You asked frantically, holding the angel’s bloodied face in your hands. There had to be a way to snap him out of it. Surely Djinn poison didn’t affect angels the way it did humans? Your heart was pounding in your chest, and the sound of something moving in the darkness behind you registered in your ears. You were running out of time.

  But the seraph wasn’t responding. His lips were moving, and he was muttering something incoherent. Beads of sweat broke out onto his forehead, and his face was contorted in pain. Your gut twisted at the thought of something hurting him. You yanked at the chains holding him, but you had nothing on you that could set him free.

  “Castiel! Wake up!” You shouted. A white-hot pain lit up at the base of your skull, and you crumpled to the floor.

 

 

_Two hours earlier_

 

  “Y/N?”

  “Why does he keep doing this to me?” You asked into the receiver, downing the rest of your drink.

  “What?” The bubbly voice on the phone asked. You reached to your right, grabbing a bottle of whiskey and unscrewing the cap, taking a swig.

  “I keep shutting him out, and he keeps finding a way back in,” you slurred, annoyed.

  “Y/N, are you drunk?” You could hear the blonde trying to stifle her laughter.

  “No.”  A pause.

  “Maybe.” Another pause.

  “Yes,” you conceded, and this time she didn’t hold back her laughter.

  “Tell me, what did Prince Charming do this time?” Cherry asked, amusement clear in her tone.

  “He said I was all he’d ever need! How am I supposed to argue with that?!” You asked incredulously.

  “Maybe you should stop trying to find ways to say no and just say yes!” She said, clearly exasperated. You frowned at her, then realized she couldn’t see you.

  “Not happening.” Cherry huffed.

  “Well why not? It seems like fate has been trying to bring you guys together and you’ve been fighting it every step of the way!” Your face screwed up at her mentioning fate, and you took another long swig from your bottle.

  “Fate has nothing to do with it. Just a stubborn angel,” you grumbled, mostly to yourself. Cherry laughed.

  “Yes, he’s an angel. Now quit talking to me and go confess to your husband-not-husband!” There was a click, and you were met with silence. You sighed tossing your phone into the seat beside you. You tipped your head back against the bench, laying your head down on it none too gently. What were you doing?

  You were currently stashed away in an empty lot at the edge of town, drinking your way through all the bottles you’d had stowed away in your duffel. After the day-scratch that, month-you were having, you figured you deserved a drink.

  The sun was low in the sky and surprisingly hot on your skin as you sat on a bench that had seen better days, and you sighed, before placing the bottle to your lips and taking another drink. You wondered how long you could stay out here before Team Free Will got worried.

  Sam and Dean had gone back with Castiel to the motel, going to narrow down the locations that the Djinn might be. Apparently, this town was filled with abandoned warehouses, barns, and factories. Just your luck.

  You didn’t want to join them. If you did, you would have to continue the conversation that you and Castiel had earlier. And you got the feeling Dean wouldn’t be there to interrupt the next time. So you said you were going to the store to pick up a few things-receiving odd looks when you grabbed your bag-and you’d meet them at the motel. Big surprise, Dean demanded pie.

  “Pathetic,” you muttered to yourself, looking at the bottle clutched in your hand. You’d pumped werewolves full of silver, took out that one Rugaru-albeit an accident-saved the Winchesters from near death, and killed more vampires than you could count. Yet you couldn’t talk to the angel about your feelings? You knew hunters were emotionally stunted, but this was just ridiculous.

  You begrudgingly got up from the bench, stumbling and nearly falling flat on your face. After one last sip of whiskey, you screwed the cap back on and tossed it back into your bag, swinging it over your shoulder. After a few moments of confusion, you retrieved your phone once you located it, and started walking back to the motel. Hopefully the fresh air would sober you up before you got back to the motel. Otherwise you’d have a lot of explaining to do. And that was a whole other line of questioning you didn’t want to fall down.

  The air had chilled, and the wind rustled frequently through the trees. The sky was a dark blue as the sun set, clear of any clouds. But you could feel the storm coming. You didn’t know when it would be upon you, but you knew it wasn’t long. You just hoped you’d make it back to the motel before that happened.

  You stopped at the store before you went back, receiving a curious looks as you teetered your way through the store-you’d lost one of your heels at the beginning of the walk-in search of pie. Once you’d found the apple pie that you thought was worthy of one Dean Winchester, you were on your way.

  As the motel came into view, you noticed that the Impala was missing. You furrowed your eyebrows in confusion. Did you make it back before the boys? You thought back to your heavy drinking in an empty parking lot. Definitely not. Figuring Dean must have gotten tired of waiting for you and your pie, you trudged on, unsurprised when you entered the room and found it empty.

  Figuring you’d make yourself look more presentable before Team Free Will got back, you showered and changed into your normal hunting gear. You were toweling off your hair when you saw your phone light up from where you left it on the bed. You scooped it up, figuring it was one of the brothers telling you they were on their way back. When you looked at your phone, your stomach dropped.

  Five missed calls from Sam.

  Five missed calls from Dean.

  Fifteen unread messages between the two of them.

  You cursed, quickly grabbing your gear and booking it out of the motel.

 

 

 

_Now_

  You were picked up by the back of your jacket and thrown across the room, hitting the wall with a heavy thud. You groaned, rolling over and coming face to face with Dean. Sam was beside him, and both were out cold. Well that answered your previous question.

  At the sound of movement, you rolled, narrowly dodging the incoming hands of the Djinn. You grabbed the knife tucked into your boot and swung, nicking the Djinn’s outstretched hands. It howled in pain and anger, and surged forward as you tried to pick yourself up off the ground.

  You had to act quickly. One touch from the Djinn and you’d really be in trouble. You were of no use to anyone trapped in a dream world. You rolled again, and you felt its hands miss your arm by a hair’s width. Now was your chance. You swept your foot out, knocking it off its feet. It fell-straight onto your knife.

  You pushed the corpse off of you, and as its body withered away, Sam and Dean came to. You retrieved your knife before helping each Winchester to their feet, quickly moving over to Tanya. She was conscious, but she had lost too much blood to understand what was going on. She would be alright, you just needed to get her to the hospital.

_Castiel_.

  You spun around, confusion and panic bubbling up inside you as you crouched in front of the angel. His face was pale, and he was still muttering incoherent words. You leaned closer.

  “ _IEHUSOZ…IPAMIS…_ ” Not incoherent, you quickly realized. Enochian. You gently caressed his face.

  “Castiel?” You called tentatively. No response.

  “He’s not waking up,” You called to the brothers, eyes never leaving the angel. Your heart wrenched. Maybe the Djinn’s poison _did_ affect angels differently, and that was why he had yet to awaken.

  “Castiel, can you hear me? You gotta wake up,” you said, grabbing the lapels of his trench coat and shaking him.

  “Y/N watch out!” Dean shouted suddenly, and you whipped around, throwing your knife without a second thought. The thing before you had inky black lines that spiraled out from its neck and arms, eyes glowing blue as it reached out towards you. Another Djinn. Your knife was jutting out from its chest. It made a low groaning sound, and collapsed to the ground, dead.

  Dean have a low whistle.

  “Alright, not gonna lie, that was pretty hot.” Sam rolled his eyes, and you shot the older Winchester a dirty look before turning your attention back to Castiel. Still nothing. Why wasn’t he waking up? You voiced your concern to the brothers, and they were just as confused as you. These were normal, run-of-the-mill Djinn. Anyone touched by them should wake up after the Djinn died. But why hadn’t the angel? And then you saw it.

  The light blue handprint protruding up from his neck, just underneath the collar of his dress shirt. You cursed.

  “What is it?” Sam asked, on alert as he approached with Dean.

  “We were right about there being two separate Djinn,” you said, pulling at Castiel’s collar to reveal more of the handprint. Dean swore as Sam unlocked the chains holding the seraph.

  “Come on, let’s get out of here, we can figure this out back at the bunker,” Sam said, and you helped him carry Castiel out to the Impala while Dean took care of Tanya. The three of you took no time in leaving, and soon enough you dropped Tanya off at the hospital, and she was conscious enough to thank you before you left.

  Once you were sure Tanya would be taken care of, you headed back to the impala, climbing into the backseat. You had to maneuver around the still unconscious angel who was laid out in the backseat, and positioned yourself so that his head was resting on your lap. You ran your fingers through his unruly dark locks, trying to keep your growing panic at bay.

  “How do we wake him up?” You asked once the impala was back on the road.

  “You ever heard of African dream root?” Dean asked, glancing at you in the rearview mirror. The name was familiar, and you were sure Bobby had mentioned having used it on a case with Rufus. You glanced down at the seraph in your lap.

  “It’s going to wake him up?” You asked.

  “Not exactly.” Dean said, and you looked back up at him.

  “The only way to wake him up is for him to let go of his worst fear. The dream root will let you enter his mind, help him along.” You frowned, looking back down at Castiel.

  “…what if I can’t wake him up?” Dean didn’t answer.

  The drive back to the bunker was tense, everyone’s worry for the angel practically tangible in the small space. Your mind raced, a turmoil of emotions boiling up inside your chest. Dean never answered your question. And that left a sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach.

  Once you reached the bunker, the three of you made quick work. Sam brought Cas into his own room, Dean made the Dream Root concoction, and you went to your room, mentally steeling yourself. You took a deep breath as you sat down on your bed, heart thudding painfully loud in your chest. There was an itch, a low hum within you that needed to make sure your angel was okay. You tried to tell yourself that he’d be fine-he was an angel after all-but you weren’t so sure.

_What did angels fear?_

  Surely, Castiel was afraid of something; but what? What did the seraph fear so deeply that the Djinn found him meal-worthy?

  “You ready?” Your thoughts were interrupted by Dean entering the room, holding a glass of amber-colored liquid that foamed at the top. You offered a smile, though you weren’t fooling anyone.

  “As ready as I’ll ever be.” You looked down at the glass Dean extended out to you.

  “What’s in it?” You crinkled up your nose at the odd appearance of the drink.

  “Trust me, you don’t want to know,” Dean said, chuckling lowly. You conceded. It was probably for the best.

  “So this won’t wake him up?” You asked, wanting to be sure before you dove in. Now that you were actually here, faced with the daunting task, all your worries were coming to the forefront. Dean shook his head.

  “No, he’s gotta do it himself. But if he can’t, that’s where you come in,” he supplied, and it did nothing to decrease your worry. The older hunter clapped a hand on your shoulder.

  “If it’s you, I’m sure you’ll be fine,” Dean reassured, and you nodded not acknowledging the implication of his words. You tried to convince yourself.

_What’s an angel got to fear?_

  You took the glass, and after taking a deep breath, downed the drink.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for another late update, writer's block is a strong foe. Worry not, I have not forgotten.


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